I have to work this quarter's Saturday shift tomorrow, so I ended up with today off, which was actually a bonus for me. It allowed me to get some things done that I might not have otherwise. A lot of the mess that was in the house before the break-in has been cleared away/fixed, and as a result, my anxiety levels have plummeted.
I've temporarily hung up a colorful tapestry over the damaged wall where the television was, and I actually like the look of it so much that I just may leave it there permanently. I'm reconsidering even replacing the TV at all, to be honest - it was indeed an idiot box, just hanging there, wasting a lot of my valuable time where I could have been doing other things. Like, say, cleaning. Or actually eating breakfast in the morning, fixing my hair to go to work, that sort of thing.
I'm aware that the last sentence in particular sounded really awful, but I can't lie - all of it is true. I'd neglect simple things like taking care of myself (by eating a necessary meal) or trying to make myself look at least a little better (fixing my hair) because I'd sit on my sofa and just stare into nothingness, trying to fool myself into believing that I needed that time just to "wake up". But it's bullshit, you know. I was awake. Just not... "there". Does that make sense?
It's not as if I ever really "watched" the damned thing, anyhow. It was background noise to try and blot out the fact that if I don't make sound in here, it's utterly silent and desolate. Or is it? It's only desolate if I choose it to be so.
The only thing that truly hurt, I think, was the loss of my computer equipment - partially because I'd just purchased it and it was like throwing 800 dollars out the window, but also because what little entertainment I do choose to watch, most of it is on my computer (be it in the form of movies or TV shows on DVD or something similar). Other than that - screw it, what do I care, the thugs can keep all that shit. Really!
I've changed over most of my accounts now, but there seems to be very little fallout from the break-in itself, which is good news. The two computers that they'd taken (yes, they managed to steal both my new one and the broken one, sheesh), I don't think they're going to get very far. The new one had a fingerprint recognition feature on it that makes trying to access it useless, and the broken one's battery was dead and they neglected to take the charger to fire it up. Dumbasses. Still, I canceled my accounts and set up new ones, just to be safe. It's a good thing that the broken one's battery WAS dead, because that one literally had nearly all of my financial information on it. Lesson learned - I'll never do THAT again. It's back to paper and pencil for me when it comes to my finances.
I've actually learned a LOT of lessons from this incident. I've been way too lax with my own security for a good portion of my life - perhaps because I had the false sense of feeling "invincible". After all, this has never happened to me before; why would I ever think about such things? It's been hit home to me that I do, indeed, need to think about it. I'm a single woman living alone in Baltimore City; while the area of town I live in isn't a "slum", it's on the edge of one where there's still a huge amount of drug activity and crime. I should have thought about this a long time ago. But it's not too late to start now, and I've done exactly that.
I had a security system installed this week, and I'm planning on installing security doors for both the front and back of the house. I'm also considering motion detectors for the backyard, the side of the house, and even bars on the back windows (though I really don't want to go that far - I don't want to feel as if I live in a prison - but it may be necessary). I've also changed some personal habits in that I now shut the blinds at all times unless I'm physically in the room, as well as leaving some lights on at night, and turning different ones on and off. And as soon as I can pick up the old desktop computer that my mother offered me, I'm going to begin scanning personal financial documents and shredding all of the old paper copies. The scans will go on a portable hard drive that will probably be locked up in a personal safe (that of course will be bolted to the floor to prevent anyone from taking THAT).
Too much, you say? Yeah, it might be. I may not go THIS far, but I do think that some of the above ideas are good ones. I have to work with one thing at a time, of course, because I'm facing down some pretty expensive stuff in the next few weeks. My credit card bill has already swelled past the comfort level because of having to replace the computer and get the alarm system installed. Sigh.
But if it means I'll be safe in my own house, so be it.
The one thing that keeps running through my mind, though, is that I'm thankful that I'm alive and that I didn't walk in on these assholes that did this. Because I live in a city where someone will shoot you in the head for a pair of 60 dollar Nike tennis shoes. And, yet, I still love my little house in the city. I still enjoy being here. No one with a drug addiction - or for that matter, any issue - is going to take that away from me.
I've taken my house back. Now I'm taking my life back.
Showing posts with label television. Show all posts
Showing posts with label television. Show all posts
11 October 2010
Improving bit by bit.
So I had a pretty good therapy session yesterday. My doctor says that I'm making progress, without drugs and without excuses. I've come to think of his office as "my personal screaming place", because more often than not, I rail and rant and cry my eyes out in there. It's to the point where he has a box of tissues on the ready, because I always, always use them.
There's no doubt about it - this is easily the hardest undertaking that I've ever experienced. But I can slowly feel my mindset, my attitude, my whole life beginning to change. I still have moments where I feel the utter blackness, the lack of a future... but new thoughts are creeping into my empty brain, the realization that someone else's toxicity isn't either my fault or under my control. And I'm learning to just let go.
That sounds like such an easy thing to do... let go. But it's not as easy as people make it seem. I'm learning, though. Slowly, painfully, but learning.
I had the beginnings of lonely feelings last night. Instead of doing what I normally do (which would be either sinking into a deep, depressive funk and cry, or search frantically for someone or something to give me external validation and make me feel better - neither of which techniques work), I sought to find something that would make me laugh. And by God (pun intended), I found it.
Observe below. Yes, it's juvenile as hell. Yes, it's hysterical.
(For those of you who aren't familiar with the televangelist craze of the late 80's, the guy above is Robert Tilton, who used to run a megachurch out in Texas someplace and had a network TV show called 'Success N Life', from which most of these clips are taken. I remember it well. They used to show it on crappy little independent TV stations that were desperate to fill their airtime. Robert Tilton's "church" was exposed in 1991 on ABC News as a fraud.)
In any case, just watching that silly, sad video made me feel a lot better. And I didn't participate in any self-destructive habits to accomplish it. Therefore... well, I'm pretty proud of myself.
I'm not confident enough to say that my life is better - yet. But it's on an upswing, and after all I've been through, I guess that's good enough for me.
I think curling up for a nap with the kitteh sounds like a fine idea about now. :)
There's no doubt about it - this is easily the hardest undertaking that I've ever experienced. But I can slowly feel my mindset, my attitude, my whole life beginning to change. I still have moments where I feel the utter blackness, the lack of a future... but new thoughts are creeping into my empty brain, the realization that someone else's toxicity isn't either my fault or under my control. And I'm learning to just let go.
That sounds like such an easy thing to do... let go. But it's not as easy as people make it seem. I'm learning, though. Slowly, painfully, but learning.
I had the beginnings of lonely feelings last night. Instead of doing what I normally do (which would be either sinking into a deep, depressive funk and cry, or search frantically for someone or something to give me external validation and make me feel better - neither of which techniques work), I sought to find something that would make me laugh. And by God (pun intended), I found it.
Observe below. Yes, it's juvenile as hell. Yes, it's hysterical.
(For those of you who aren't familiar with the televangelist craze of the late 80's, the guy above is Robert Tilton, who used to run a megachurch out in Texas someplace and had a network TV show called 'Success N Life', from which most of these clips are taken. I remember it well. They used to show it on crappy little independent TV stations that were desperate to fill their airtime. Robert Tilton's "church" was exposed in 1991 on ABC News as a fraud.)
In any case, just watching that silly, sad video made me feel a lot better. And I didn't participate in any self-destructive habits to accomplish it. Therefore... well, I'm pretty proud of myself.
I'm not confident enough to say that my life is better - yet. But it's on an upswing, and after all I've been through, I guess that's good enough for me.
I think curling up for a nap with the kitteh sounds like a fine idea about now. :)
29 August 2010
Thoughts about Katrina.
Today is the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. It's so hard to believe that that was five years ago... and I remember the horror of it all, thinking that New Orleans was doomed and that they'd never get all of that water out of the streets and that they'd find so many dead bodies, etc., etc. And in some ways, that did come true - some of the pictures were and are horrific. But I'm impressed with how N.O. rebounded after everything was said and done. It's not all fixed, of course - that'll take decades. There's still houses for sale in the Ninth Ward - I actually went on a real estate website for that area and looked at the offerings. I could actually buy 3 or 4 houses there for what I paid for this one, fix them up, make a profit - but I wouldn't. What I'd really like to do, if I had the money to, would be to buy those houses, fix them up, then just give them away to the ones that needed them - or if I had to sell them, sell it for a dollar, help those folks out. I don't really know that people would move back down there, though. I know that I wouldn't, myself, not because I'm afraid, but because I just don't like the South - I didn't like living in Georgia, so I know I wouldn't enjoy it there.
It amazes me that I had thoughts along these lines. It could be that I still have a shred or two of compassion for my fellow man - how about that.
One of the most heartbreaking pictures that I ever saw from Hurricane Katrina was one of a woman who had lost her... husband, boyfriend, not sure of the relationship... and was crying next to his body.
The body wrapped in the sheet had a name - Xavier Bowie. A lot of people didn't or weren't able to put names with the horrific images that they saw in the days after the hurricane. But those people that lived through this, they know and remember. It's still sickening to see images like this one five years later, and know that the man in this picture, Mr. Bowie, died because he ran out of oxygen and wasn't able to get medical help in time. A senseless, ridiculous death that didn't have to happen.
I was working at Bank of America then, on the late night shift, as a check processor. So I had a lot of opportunity to listen to the radio - specifically talk radio - and hear the live reports as they were coming in from New Orleans those couple of confusing days where no one knew what was going on, whether people were alive or dead - and as early as the next day, people sure were pointing fingers and assigning blame. It was disgusting, hearing some of these people speaking, especially the conservative faction like Sean Hannity and Michael Savage. (And let me tell you something, if you want to hear a reincarnation of Adolf Hitler ranting, tune in to Michael Savage. It's fucking EERIE how similar they sound. Seriously.) I can only imagine, five years on, what nonsense Glenn Beck is mouthing to the sheeple in D.C. at the tea party rallies.
(Can you all tell that I am not a fan of the extreme right? Tee-hee.)
Sure, I think that a lot of things were done the wrong way after the storm. I remember a rather juicy, angry post I'd made about the FEMA-issued debit cards back then when I still had my LiveJournal account - how I was angry about some of the less-scrupulous taking tax dollars to buy Coach purses, expensive jewelry, nights out on the town, etc. That was definitely not the way to go, and I'm still really ticked off that people would be so avaricious. But I have the gift of introspection, and there's always going to be a few people in every massive crowd that will not do the right thing, that will take the easy way out, that are soft and weak. The majority of those people did the right thing and used it for living expenses, for things they needed and not wanted. I know that, deep down.
I'm more disgusted with the fact that the state of Louisiana and the city of New Orleans didn't have concrete plans in place to deal with an emergency like this. To this day, I'm haunted by the fact that all of those school buses sat in a yard, flooded, instead of being used to get these fucking people OUT OF THERE.
Yeah, I know, some people were stubborn and didn't want to leave, but you know what? Had I been the governor of Louisiana, or the mayor of N.O., they wouldn't have had a fucking choice. You either leave, or you'll be forced to leave - whether you have to be arrested or not. But the picture above is just... fucking... sad. They could have used those buses, Greyhound buses, ANYTHING to get people out of there.
There is and was so much wrong with the way this was handled that I can't even go into it all, because the post would be the entire page and then some.
Five years on, New Orleans is still trying to make a comeback. I hope they do. I can't even imagine what would happen to us here in Baltimore if a similar situation arose - and it could happen, y'know. We're near a harbor, and it's flooded before after a hurricane. Just not to this level, because a cat. 5 has never come up here (it probably won't, as we're too far inland for conditions to be right). But one never knows, that's the point.
How do you end a post like this? A touching "rest in peace" for the dead? Or fervent hopes and wishes for the living? A warning that something like this could, Christ forbid, happen again? What do you say to these people that have had so much taken from them, but given the strength and the courage to survive the unsurvivable?
Just as those who don't have depression will never understand what I go through.... I will never understand, as an outsider who didn't live through Hurricane Katrina, what these people have suffered.
And I thank whatever deity that you may/may not believe in that I was spared that knowledge.
It amazes me that I had thoughts along these lines. It could be that I still have a shred or two of compassion for my fellow man - how about that.
One of the most heartbreaking pictures that I ever saw from Hurricane Katrina was one of a woman who had lost her... husband, boyfriend, not sure of the relationship... and was crying next to his body.
The body wrapped in the sheet had a name - Xavier Bowie. A lot of people didn't or weren't able to put names with the horrific images that they saw in the days after the hurricane. But those people that lived through this, they know and remember. It's still sickening to see images like this one five years later, and know that the man in this picture, Mr. Bowie, died because he ran out of oxygen and wasn't able to get medical help in time. A senseless, ridiculous death that didn't have to happen.
I was working at Bank of America then, on the late night shift, as a check processor. So I had a lot of opportunity to listen to the radio - specifically talk radio - and hear the live reports as they were coming in from New Orleans those couple of confusing days where no one knew what was going on, whether people were alive or dead - and as early as the next day, people sure were pointing fingers and assigning blame. It was disgusting, hearing some of these people speaking, especially the conservative faction like Sean Hannity and Michael Savage. (And let me tell you something, if you want to hear a reincarnation of Adolf Hitler ranting, tune in to Michael Savage. It's fucking EERIE how similar they sound. Seriously.) I can only imagine, five years on, what nonsense Glenn Beck is mouthing to the sheeple in D.C. at the tea party rallies.
(Can you all tell that I am not a fan of the extreme right? Tee-hee.)
Sure, I think that a lot of things were done the wrong way after the storm. I remember a rather juicy, angry post I'd made about the FEMA-issued debit cards back then when I still had my LiveJournal account - how I was angry about some of the less-scrupulous taking tax dollars to buy Coach purses, expensive jewelry, nights out on the town, etc. That was definitely not the way to go, and I'm still really ticked off that people would be so avaricious. But I have the gift of introspection, and there's always going to be a few people in every massive crowd that will not do the right thing, that will take the easy way out, that are soft and weak. The majority of those people did the right thing and used it for living expenses, for things they needed and not wanted. I know that, deep down.
I'm more disgusted with the fact that the state of Louisiana and the city of New Orleans didn't have concrete plans in place to deal with an emergency like this. To this day, I'm haunted by the fact that all of those school buses sat in a yard, flooded, instead of being used to get these fucking people OUT OF THERE.
Yeah, I know, some people were stubborn and didn't want to leave, but you know what? Had I been the governor of Louisiana, or the mayor of N.O., they wouldn't have had a fucking choice. You either leave, or you'll be forced to leave - whether you have to be arrested or not. But the picture above is just... fucking... sad. They could have used those buses, Greyhound buses, ANYTHING to get people out of there.
There is and was so much wrong with the way this was handled that I can't even go into it all, because the post would be the entire page and then some.
Five years on, New Orleans is still trying to make a comeback. I hope they do. I can't even imagine what would happen to us here in Baltimore if a similar situation arose - and it could happen, y'know. We're near a harbor, and it's flooded before after a hurricane. Just not to this level, because a cat. 5 has never come up here (it probably won't, as we're too far inland for conditions to be right). But one never knows, that's the point.
How do you end a post like this? A touching "rest in peace" for the dead? Or fervent hopes and wishes for the living? A warning that something like this could, Christ forbid, happen again? What do you say to these people that have had so much taken from them, but given the strength and the courage to survive the unsurvivable?
Just as those who don't have depression will never understand what I go through.... I will never understand, as an outsider who didn't live through Hurricane Katrina, what these people have suffered.
And I thank whatever deity that you may/may not believe in that I was spared that knowledge.
26 June 2010
Songs that make me absolutely sick.
I was watching VH-1 Classic this morning (often something I do when there is absolutely nothing on the tube - it's amazing, I have DirecTV satellite and yet out of 500+ channels there's still zero airing that isn't dreck), and they were having a "Totally 80's" block. (Shut. the. fuck. up. It's my generation, damn it, so kiss my round red ass.) Anyway... they were playing mostly good stuff, but there are some tunes from that era that were disgustingly "feel good, positive, chin up, happy happy" bullshit. Since the 80's were basically not a very happy period of time for me as a rule, those songs tend to make me want to vomit.
Unfortunately, some of them are making a comeback. Why, I could not tell you.
I now present some of the most disgusting tunes ever made - at least in my opinion. The videos are included, though why you would ever watch them, I have no idea. I know I won't be. (Note: they're not all from the 80's, but for some reason that decade was the most nauseating...)
1.) Katrina & The Waves - "Walking On Sunshine"
This is the video that got me thinking about this whole subject. I mean, come on. First of all, those three guys walking behind this bitch look anything but happy to be in this silly, sad video. And it's common knowledge that "the Waves" aren't nearly as important in this act as "Katrina", whom I suppose is pretty enough but quite frankly looks like she's singing about her girlfriend, if you know what I mean. (Not that there's anything wrong with that, but let's face it, those tennis shoes of hers don't make her look real feminine, know what I'm saying?) Second, if you're going to be doing a video about sunshine - pick a sunny day and not a foggy, gray rainmaker. Though the shots of the bridge in London are a nice touch. It does occur to me that it could be a statement of irony, but I honestly don't think that was the intention - they don't look intelligent enough for it.
2.) Bobby McFerrin - "Don't Worry (Be Happy)"
This is the song that is on my all-time shit list. Don't worry? Is this guy fucking nuts? It's obvious this asshole has never suffered with depression or has even heard of it. Plus that guy going "whoo-hoo-hoo" in the bridge makes me want to curl my nails into his throat and rip it out - Jesus, how irritating. This video is actually cut off in the middle of the song - which for me is sweet fucking relief. I think this one actually vaults above Miss Katrina up there for the "most fucking annoying" award. The real kicker about this song is - this douchebag doesn't even give you a reason why you shouldn't worry about things. Just unbridled, unthinking optimism. That's how people get hurt, motherfucker. Sad thing is, this dick laughed all the way to the bank with people's money. I guess he doesn't have to worry about shit, now does he?
3.) Fleetwood Mac - "Don't Stop"
It absolutely breaks my heart to have to put Fleetwood Mac on this list, because I've always liked them so much, especially the tracks "Dreams" and "Rhiannon", which are nothing short of beautiful. But this song is an abomination. The lyrics - ugh. "Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone." Thanks for reminding me, assholes. I already regret that I've lost so much of my life to depression, I really don't need a reminder that I've wasted yet another day because I can't manage to hold my head up without sobbing my heart out. Jerks. My only consolation is that maybe Christine McVie and Lindsey Buckingham were LSD-tripping when they wrote this - I could possibly forgive them.
4.) Lee Ann Womack - "I Hope You Dance"
This bitch just...doesn't... get it. It's obvious that this song is for people that have never had one thing go wrong in their lives - that or fools, because you would be a fucking idiot to be that frigging optimistic. Thanks, but I will sit this out and be glad to do so, because I'm of the real world. What a douche. And so obviously trying to cater to the "girly-girl", the so-called "sisterhood", blah blah. Such a joke. I won't even get into that subject, because that's another rant altogether.
5.) Johnny Nash - "I Can See Clearly Now"
"I can see clearly now, the man's insane!
I can see all the bullshit that's in his way....
Gone is the common sense I thought he had,
He's going to sing a dumb (dim), dense (thick) piece of crap song!"
Heh, no doubt there'll be a part two....
Unfortunately, some of them are making a comeback. Why, I could not tell you.
I now present some of the most disgusting tunes ever made - at least in my opinion. The videos are included, though why you would ever watch them, I have no idea. I know I won't be. (Note: they're not all from the 80's, but for some reason that decade was the most nauseating...)
1.) Katrina & The Waves - "Walking On Sunshine"
This is the video that got me thinking about this whole subject. I mean, come on. First of all, those three guys walking behind this bitch look anything but happy to be in this silly, sad video. And it's common knowledge that "the Waves" aren't nearly as important in this act as "Katrina", whom I suppose is pretty enough but quite frankly looks like she's singing about her girlfriend, if you know what I mean. (Not that there's anything wrong with that, but let's face it, those tennis shoes of hers don't make her look real feminine, know what I'm saying?) Second, if you're going to be doing a video about sunshine - pick a sunny day and not a foggy, gray rainmaker. Though the shots of the bridge in London are a nice touch. It does occur to me that it could be a statement of irony, but I honestly don't think that was the intention - they don't look intelligent enough for it.
2.) Bobby McFerrin - "Don't Worry (Be Happy)"
This is the song that is on my all-time shit list. Don't worry? Is this guy fucking nuts? It's obvious this asshole has never suffered with depression or has even heard of it. Plus that guy going "whoo-hoo-hoo" in the bridge makes me want to curl my nails into his throat and rip it out - Jesus, how irritating. This video is actually cut off in the middle of the song - which for me is sweet fucking relief. I think this one actually vaults above Miss Katrina up there for the "most fucking annoying" award. The real kicker about this song is - this douchebag doesn't even give you a reason why you shouldn't worry about things. Just unbridled, unthinking optimism. That's how people get hurt, motherfucker. Sad thing is, this dick laughed all the way to the bank with people's money. I guess he doesn't have to worry about shit, now does he?
3.) Fleetwood Mac - "Don't Stop"
It absolutely breaks my heart to have to put Fleetwood Mac on this list, because I've always liked them so much, especially the tracks "Dreams" and "Rhiannon", which are nothing short of beautiful. But this song is an abomination. The lyrics - ugh. "Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone." Thanks for reminding me, assholes. I already regret that I've lost so much of my life to depression, I really don't need a reminder that I've wasted yet another day because I can't manage to hold my head up without sobbing my heart out. Jerks. My only consolation is that maybe Christine McVie and Lindsey Buckingham were LSD-tripping when they wrote this - I could possibly forgive them.
4.) Lee Ann Womack - "I Hope You Dance"
This bitch just...doesn't... get it. It's obvious that this song is for people that have never had one thing go wrong in their lives - that or fools, because you would be a fucking idiot to be that frigging optimistic. Thanks, but I will sit this out and be glad to do so, because I'm of the real world. What a douche. And so obviously trying to cater to the "girly-girl", the so-called "sisterhood", blah blah. Such a joke. I won't even get into that subject, because that's another rant altogether.
5.) Johnny Nash - "I Can See Clearly Now"
"I can see clearly now, the man's insane!
I can see all the bullshit that's in his way....
Gone is the common sense I thought he had,
He's going to sing a dumb (dim), dense (thick) piece of crap song!"
Heh, no doubt there'll be a part two....
20 September 2009
Instant cheer, guaranteed.
I know that whenever I feel at my worst... 'Whose Line Is It Anyway' always, always cheers me up.
My mother hates Drew Carey. That's just another reason why I love it so, heh.
God, this is hysterical. :)
My mother hates Drew Carey. That's just another reason why I love it so, heh.
God, this is hysterical. :)
25 December 2008
Routine can be so refreshing. (Edited - see below.)
So it's Christmas Day, and I've been really just kicking back, relaxing, and believe it or not - doing laundry. I got a chance to really attack the huge pile of clothes laying on my floor in the bedroom (okay, so I'm a secret slob, what can I say), even doing what I call my "crusty coat", heh. It's not that bad that it can stand up by itself or anything like that - I'm not THAT much of a slob - but it's not been washed for a while and it's something that I've been wanting to do for quite some time, but somehow just "never got the chance". I find that this has been a day for catching up on things that I've been wanting to do.
Now, this might sound horrifically boring if not downright sad to most of you, spending Christmas by myself and doing chores. But I find these things oddly comforting, because it's a signal to me that all is right in my world, if you follow what I'm saying. I can look at my bedroom and say, "Well, by Christ, my clothes are clean, I don't have to worry about THAT anymore! Look at this, that's finished, I don't have to do this anymore for a while", etc. For me, that's a good thing, and it gives me peace. Isn't that what Christmas is supposed to be about, peace? I've had so little of it, and even if it means that I achieve it by doing laundry and coloring my hair (another thing I'm planning on doing tonight - I'm too young to have this much silver in my head), so be it - that's how it is.
One of the things that I find I need to start (or rather, stop!) doing is comparing myself ceaselessly to other people. I was thinking again about how much my blog "sucks" - about how I don't talk about important or worldly things, or sound educated and lofty, blah blah ad nauseum. And then it occurred to me - who's making that judgment but me? No one that I know, certainly, unless they're saying it behind my back which in that case I'll most likely find out anyhow, that's how it seems to work where I'm concerned. Why do I always tear myself down? So it sounds like I'm fresh out of high school - so the fuck what? At least I'm young in spirit, if not chronologically.
Maybe that should be a resolution for 2009, only I don't do resolutions, heh. If I'm going to change my outlook, I'm of the opinion that you don't need to wait until a certain time frame - just... well, do it, you know what I mean?
For tonight, however, I'm at peace, and that's all I could really ask for as a Christmas gift. In that, I've received what I really wanted this year.
Thanks, Santa. :D
EDITED TO ADD HERE:
Late-breaking news - Eartha Kitt, who played Catwoman in the '66 "Batman" series with Adam West, apparently died today of colon cancer at 81. Eartha Kitt was a fabulous singer, one of those people that did "smoky nightclub" and late-night music so well. See the clip below for a sample. Sad day for the world of music and television, indeed.
R.I.P. Eartha Kitt 1927-2008
Now, this might sound horrifically boring if not downright sad to most of you, spending Christmas by myself and doing chores. But I find these things oddly comforting, because it's a signal to me that all is right in my world, if you follow what I'm saying. I can look at my bedroom and say, "Well, by Christ, my clothes are clean, I don't have to worry about THAT anymore! Look at this, that's finished, I don't have to do this anymore for a while", etc. For me, that's a good thing, and it gives me peace. Isn't that what Christmas is supposed to be about, peace? I've had so little of it, and even if it means that I achieve it by doing laundry and coloring my hair (another thing I'm planning on doing tonight - I'm too young to have this much silver in my head), so be it - that's how it is.
One of the things that I find I need to start (or rather, stop!) doing is comparing myself ceaselessly to other people. I was thinking again about how much my blog "sucks" - about how I don't talk about important or worldly things, or sound educated and lofty, blah blah ad nauseum. And then it occurred to me - who's making that judgment but me? No one that I know, certainly, unless they're saying it behind my back which in that case I'll most likely find out anyhow, that's how it seems to work where I'm concerned. Why do I always tear myself down? So it sounds like I'm fresh out of high school - so the fuck what? At least I'm young in spirit, if not chronologically.
Maybe that should be a resolution for 2009, only I don't do resolutions, heh. If I'm going to change my outlook, I'm of the opinion that you don't need to wait until a certain time frame - just... well, do it, you know what I mean?
For tonight, however, I'm at peace, and that's all I could really ask for as a Christmas gift. In that, I've received what I really wanted this year.
Thanks, Santa. :D
EDITED TO ADD HERE:
Late-breaking news - Eartha Kitt, who played Catwoman in the '66 "Batman" series with Adam West, apparently died today of colon cancer at 81. Eartha Kitt was a fabulous singer, one of those people that did "smoky nightclub" and late-night music so well. See the clip below for a sample. Sad day for the world of music and television, indeed.
29 October 2008
Flashback - 1978
Ahh, my childhood. Since I'm on a nostalgia kick, I decided to post the opening theme to one of my favorite cop shows (even then!), "Baretta". Gritty and violent for its time, just the way I like it. I've been told the first season is out on DVD - I know what one of my next purchases will be, surely. :D
I don't care if Robert Blake is a murderer or not - he was one damned fine actor in this show.
Enjoy! :D
I don't care if Robert Blake is a murderer or not - he was one damned fine actor in this show.
Enjoy! :D
14 September 2008
Television has sunk to an all-new low.
It's sad when the broadcast networks use half an hour of "valuable" programming time to highlight their so-called "new" shows. Ugh.
Desperation much?
I'm fine, for those of you who've asked. No, I'm still angry about what happened last week and I suspect I will be for a long time to come. Every word in that last post, I meant.
Anyway.
Desperation much?
I'm fine, for those of you who've asked. No, I'm still angry about what happened last week and I suspect I will be for a long time to come. Every word in that last post, I meant.
Anyway.
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