Thoughts about Katrina.

Today is the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. It's so hard to believe that that was five years ago... and I remember the horror of it all, thinking that New Orleans was doomed and that they'd never get all of that water out of the streets and that they'd find so many dead bodies, etc., etc. And in some ways, that did come true - some of the pictures were and are horrific. But I'm impressed with how N.O. rebounded after everything was said and done. It's not all fixed, of course - that'll take decades. There's still houses for sale in the Ninth Ward - I actually went on a real estate website for that area and looked at the offerings. I could actually buy 3 or 4 houses there for what I paid for this one, fix them up, make a profit - but I wouldn't. What I'd really like to do, if I had the money to, would be to buy those houses, fix them up, then just give them away to the ones that needed them - or if I had to sell them, sell it for a dollar, help those folks out. I don't really know that people would move back down there, though. I know that I wouldn't, myself, not because I'm afraid, but because I just don't like the South - I didn't like living in Georgia, so I know I wouldn't enjoy it there.

It amazes me that I had thoughts along these lines. It could be that I still have a shred or two of compassion for my fellow man - how about that.

One of the most heartbreaking pictures that I ever saw from Hurricane Katrina was one of a woman who had lost her... husband, boyfriend, not sure of the relationship... and was crying next to his body.


The body wrapped in the sheet had a name - Xavier Bowie. A lot of people didn't or weren't able to put names with the horrific images that they saw in the days after the hurricane. But those people that lived through this, they know and remember. It's still sickening to see images like this one five years later, and know that the man in this picture, Mr. Bowie, died because he ran out of oxygen and wasn't able to get medical help in time. A senseless, ridiculous death that didn't have to happen.

I was working at Bank of America then, on the late night shift, as a check processor. So I had a lot of opportunity to listen to the radio - specifically talk radio - and hear the live reports as they were coming in from New Orleans those couple of confusing days where no one knew what was going on, whether people were alive or dead - and as early as the next day, people sure were pointing fingers and assigning blame. It was disgusting, hearing some of these people speaking, especially the conservative faction like Sean Hannity and Michael Savage. (And let me tell you something, if you want to hear a reincarnation of Adolf Hitler ranting, tune in to Michael Savage. It's fucking EERIE how similar they sound. Seriously.) I can only imagine, five years on, what nonsense Glenn Beck is mouthing to the sheeple in D.C. at the tea party rallies.

(Can you all tell that I am not a fan of the extreme right? Tee-hee.)

Sure, I think that a lot of things were done the wrong way after the storm. I remember a rather juicy, angry post I'd made about the FEMA-issued debit cards back then when I still had my LiveJournal account - how I was angry about some of the less-scrupulous taking tax dollars to buy Coach purses, expensive jewelry, nights out on the town, etc. That was definitely not the way to go, and I'm still really ticked off that people would be so avaricious. But I have the gift of introspection, and there's always going to be a few people in every massive crowd that will not do the right thing, that will take the easy way out, that are soft and weak. The majority of those people did the right thing and used it for living expenses, for things they needed and not wanted. I know that, deep down.

I'm more disgusted with the fact that the state of Louisiana and the city of New Orleans didn't have concrete plans in place to deal with an emergency like this. To this day, I'm haunted by the fact that all of those school buses sat in a yard, flooded, instead of being used to get these fucking people OUT OF THERE.


Yeah, I know, some people were stubborn and didn't want to leave, but you know what? Had I been the governor of Louisiana, or the mayor of N.O., they wouldn't have had a fucking choice. You either leave, or you'll be forced to leave - whether you have to be arrested or not. But the picture above is just... fucking... sad. They could have used those buses, Greyhound buses, ANYTHING to get people out of there.

There is and was so much wrong with the way this was handled that I can't even go into it all, because the post would be the entire page and then some.

Five years on, New Orleans is still trying to make a comeback. I hope they do. I can't even imagine what would happen to us here in Baltimore if a similar situation arose - and it could happen, y'know. We're near a harbor, and it's flooded before after a hurricane. Just not to this level, because a cat. 5 has never come up here (it probably won't, as we're too far inland for conditions to be right). But one never knows, that's the point.

How do you end a post like this? A touching "rest in peace" for the dead? Or fervent hopes and wishes for the living? A warning that something like this could, Christ forbid, happen again? What do you say to these people that have had so much taken from them, but given the strength and the courage to survive the unsurvivable?

Just as those who don't have depression will never understand what I go through.... I will never understand, as an outsider who didn't live through Hurricane Katrina, what these people have suffered.

And I thank whatever deity that you may/may not believe in that I was spared that knowledge.

So much going on....

I'm off again to the land of travel. Explain myself, right? Well, okay.

I've decided to go on a cruise. Yes, that's right, you heard correctly. I'm going on a cruise in mid-September to Canada and New England on Royal Caribbean. What prompted this, you ask? (Yes, I can hear you saying it.) Well... here's the part that might shock you.

I've decided to take this trip with my mother.

Okay. Now I know I'm hearing jaws dropping to the floor. "WHY?", right? For several reasons.

#1: She's paying for it. Who's going to turn down a free trip?

#2: I think she's offered this because she knows that she... won't have a lot more time to take these trips, you know what I mean? If the family pattern holds true to form... she's going to be gone in 10 years, maybe less. I'm thinking that maybe she's realizing all of what she's lost as far as I'm concerned over the years, you know? Maybe it's a "guilt trip", so to speak. I don't know. But she's invited me along, so who am I to say no?

#3: This is sort of connected, but... I feel a need to maybe try one more time to connect with my mother again, even if it's not on the level that it was when I was a small child. I just want one more attempt to have things the way they used to be, before all of the stupid fucking troubles started. Then maybe I won't be completely broken inside when she does finally pass away, you know?

Heh, I can already feel myself tearing up at that thought, so I'll move on from that subject, thanks.

Anyway, the plan seems to be Baltimore - Bar Harbor ME - Portland ME - St. John's Bay, Canada - Halifax NS Canada - Boston MA - back to Baltimore. It's a 9 day cruise. It was not cheap. And I hope to Christ that my job doesn't give me a bunch of shit about going, because it's too late to cancel it, heh.

I've wanted to go to Boston and to Maine for some time now. I guess this is the way to go.

I'm hopeful that this cruise will finally bring my mother and I a little closer, or at least to some understanding. I wonder what my therapist is going to say about this...heh... but we'll see. If it gets too awful I can take off of my own, I suppose... but I'm hoping that won't be the case.

Here's some pictures of the ship.

Other than this news, not much has really been happening as of late. Work sucks, as usual - but at least it's consistent.

I'm excited to be traveling again. And pictures? But of course.

My good mood persists.

Even though it's Sunday and therefore little time until the idiocy begins again, somehow I'm actually not minding as much as I have the last few weeks. Perhaps the Abilify has finally kicked in and is starting to work. Whatever the reason, I'm grateful for the respite.

Not really much to say today - it really is the definition of 'a lazy Sunday' - but maybe that's a good thing in my case, heh.

I've been thinking, but instead of thinking about negativity and how I'd like to slap people stupid... I've been thinking about perhaps making efforts to mend fences with people that I was angry with... and maybe shouldn't have been. It's going to take a lot to overcome my stubborn pride, but with time... perhaps. I need to think about it, as I told someone last night.

I really do feel good. I'm reveling in it - this is so rare for me.

On a side note, my Dell Mini is "still in production", but now the automated line is saying April 13th. I can't wait to get it.

Also, I'm finally getting around to cleaning up, fixing, and posting my pictures from Sydney. I know, I know, it took a year. Deal with it. :p More details as they're available.

Until next time, cheers.

P.S. Does anyone else find the guy holding the April sign in the human calendar on the sidebar just.... looks creepy as fuck? Maybe it's me...

Fucking... freezing... out.

Goddamn. It is fucking cold outside. I'm seriously considering burrowing under my blankets and staying there for the next four days (which, coincidentally, happens to be a period of time where I don't have to go to work. How 'bout that, heh>. But, bleargh, life as usual gets in the way.

It's been a busy week - not terrible, not great - just busy. Miss Lion is adjusting to things quite nicely in the house. She's got a funny (and admittedly sometimes annoying as fuck) habit of licking my nose to get me up in the morning, and then demands her petting. That cat is insanely stubborn, Gawd love her, heh. <3

I was going to stay up for a bit tonight but in truth, I'm exhausted. I think a warm bed, a good book, and sleep call my name. So, more tomorrow. :p

Quick picture, as promised, taken January 15th. P.S. Ignore the hellish mess in the background ('course, now that I've pointed it out, you'll notice it, isn't that the way, heh).

I <3 my Lion. :D

Recovering from jetlag. And of course, a rant.

I suspect that it'll take a couple of days before I'm "myself" again, but I'm definitely better now than I was on the planes and airports. I'll be more than happy if I don't see another airport for a long, long time!

The pictures of my trip are now up and available on Flickr, as well as some selected shots on Deviantart. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to really get more, but I think I was just too overexcited and awed that I'd actually traveled that far, and on my own to boot. But I did it. :)

So now that I'm home, I'm actually sort of feeling a little 'alien'... it's weird. This is still my apartment, I'm home, I know the streets well and I know the places... but at the same time I don't feel as if I "belong" here anymore. I'm sure that feeling will wear off over time, but... it's certainly an odd sense of being right now. I think some of it is that I'm in limbo, not sure of what's going on with the job or whether I'm going back to school, or what. I hope to have all of that resolved by next week. Honestly, I'm thinking at this point that school is my option, because I'm tired of being jerked around. It's been over a year at this point and I'm really just sick of the whole thing.

Anyhow, do enjoy the pictures, let me know what you think of them, etc. :)

Also: an editorial about the suicide of the man in front of my apartment was published, and it's a damned good one. Read it. Link is here.

I want to make it clear that I took pictures - of the scene only. And the pedestrians that the above editorial talks about. I did not, and will not ever, take pictures of the body or of the man standing on the ledge. First of all, I couldn't see him, as he was on my side of the street and I was in my apartment at the time this all happened. Second of all, even if I could, I wouldn't have, and that's because it's disrespectful at best - and macabre at worst. I find it disgusting that someone on the street yelled out for him to actually do it.

I'm no stranger to feeling suicidal. I'm no stranger to mental health problems, Christ knows. And I find it appalling that someone would actually yell that. If I had the opportunity to say something to that person, I would so tell them to fuck themselves with a splintered broomstick - how dare you make light of someone's pain, you callous son-of-a-bitch.

I read that editorial and I was shaking with anger. I may write back. I just may.

Back on American soil!

As I write this, I'm sitting here in the Los Angeles airport, waiting for my last flight(s) home from Sydney. I'm taking in the atmosphere (thanks, T-Mobile, for giving me a day pass to the 'net - hey, 10 bucks is worth it when you're sitting here for 10 hours on a layover!) and having my first meal back in this country - no doubt something laden with fat and grease and nasty stuff (okay, it's just a hot dog and fries, but we all know what that's like here in America, now don't we). Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir" is playing overhead in the takeout joint. Somehow it seems a fitting welcome home.

In a word - awesome. That's all that I can say about this trip. Fucking awesome.

Before I get into my last few days in Sydney, I do want to give a huge shoutout to the crew(s) of Air New Zealand. If you're going to go anywhere in that direction - Auckland, or Sydney, or anywhere they fly - go with them. They treat even their "economy" cabin passengers like kings (or queens, as it were). The flight is horrendously long - the flight from Auckland to LAX was a mind-boggling 12 hours - but they can't do enough to make sure that you're comfortable and happy. This flight back was a lot easier than the flight going there. I think it's because I didn't get stuck with a stupid baby pissing in my lap this time, but two very nice young Australian girls (not real young, I'd guess late teens maybe) that were quiet, polite and friendly. When you're stuck for 12 hours, you can't do better than that.

A quick side note: This is an official complaint that the LAX Airport needs tables to put things on. Seriously. Holding the notebook up to my chest while I type is not at all comfortable.

Anyhow I'll be perfectly honest in that I really didn't do much more during my time in Sydney other than chill out with friends, grabbed some very much needed relaxation, etc. Two things stand out - I did the famous Sydney Harbour Bridgeclimb (which scared the living shit out of me going down - up wasn't so bad, it was like climbing my apartment stairs, but down is a fucking killer)... and it was motherfucking cold up there... goddamn. :o I was chilled for probably the rest of the day after I did that. But the views, oh my God, the views were breathtaking. I didn't get pictures of this, unfortunately - they don't allow your own camera up there, they make you lock it up - and their photograph was like 25, 30 bucks and I wasn't about to fall for that tourist trap. I looked like shit anyway, heh. You'll just have to trust me when I say that I did it!

I also went to the Taronga Zoo, and I did get pictures of that. They're not uploaded yet, however, and I'm not going to do it in the airport, because I don't know where my cord is, it's probably packed, and even if it's not, I'm too fucking tired to do it anyway.

I can feel my energy draining very, very quickly. I am very tired.

Taronga was the best part of my visit, I'll say that much. You know I'll give details when I get home and I'm feeling better. But... yes. I had a wonderful, wonderful time. :D

I leave this question for you to ponder in the meantime. After a friendly, uh, 'discussion' :D ... which is correct?

Enroll or enrol? (Note: 'enrol' on the M-W Dictionary says it's a variant,eh-hem-hem-hem :D (grinning)

Vote now and you'll... uh, get a free T-shirt? I donno. :p

I'm still alive, I swear to Gawd. :D

I've been too busy to blog, really, but I'll just write down a few quick points so that I'll know to expound upon them later on. Really, I have a feeling that no one's going to get the 'low down' until I get home, but I will say this much -

- Tricky was fucking awesome in concert. If you don't know who he is, you must make it a point to find out. And the Metro Theatre in Sydney is also in the category of 'fucking awesome'. It reminds me of Rams' Head at home.

- Chicken-flavored potato chips are also 'fucking awesome'. As are Violet Crumbles. I'm going to bring a fuckload of those home and freeze them because I know I'm not going to be able to get those anytime soon, heh.

- TimTams and Burger Rings do NOT mix. Do not eat those at the same time - you will get sick. Guaranteed.

- I am reminded that blaxploitation movies are indeed the shiznit.

- It is cheaper to do your own stir-fry at home than to go out. Though I WILL get to a Vietnamese restaurant here before I leave. Bank on that.

- Two weeks just isn't enough to spend in Sydney. You need a month. Maybe two.

- My Australian friends are right. 'Neighbours' SUCKS ASS. :o

- I was reminded of home briefly when a dead body turned up right outside my apartment building. I was locked in here for several hours. I'm getting everything from "run over by a bus" to "jumped off a building", but the Australian news has nothing. Meh. I've been assured that this is not a common happening here.

Those, for now, are the highlights. More pictures are on the way, though I can't seem to find the ones I took at the Powerhouse Museum, and if I lost those I'm going to be mad as shit, because those were GOOD.

Promise, more details later. Honest. It's hard to keep the wifi going here. Goddamn Australian bureaucracy. :D

Starting to settle in.

I'm on day 6 (technically) of my trip, and I'm beginning to calm down from the absolute wonder and awe of just being here. I'm feeling much better physically, and I've been starting to get out and about, exploring the city. This is a marvelous place for exploration, I've found. There's so much to take in and see!

Some brief observations that I've experienced:

- The place is gorgeous - lots to see and do, and everything that you could possibly want or need is contained just in the CBD - never mind the rest of the city! I went on a short tour of the music/book/DVD stores here in the central district yesterday, and I was more than impressed. There's literally something here for everyone. I've actually so far only explored a tiny fraction of this place, and I'm already well satisfied with what I've found.

- The people here seem to fall into two categories - either they're beyond nice and can't do enough to see that you're happy and well satisfied... or they're rude as fuck and just have some nasty attitudes toward life in general. Example of this? I was at a small takeaway yesterday in a food court (I'll get to that) and there were a lot of people at the tables, we had to wait for a table. Well, a table finally emptied out, but this dumb bitch just.. left her trash on the table - the takeout bag, the half-empty soda can, all of it. I'm sorry, but to me, that's fucking rude. Especially when you know there's people waiting to sit down right where you were - how hard is it to walk all of 30 feet and throw your refuse away? I mean, really, that goes beyond rude. I wish I'd have said something, and I would have if she hadn't just disappeared that fast. Fucking rude, nasty bitch. If she does that shit out in public, I can't imagine what her house looks like.

Anyway. Where was I, lol.

- The food. I must say something about the food here in Sydney - it's much more healthy in my opinion than in America. I mean, you can get more or less the same shit here as there, but... there seems to be a lot more things infused with flavor, know what I mean? Everything in America seems so bland by comparison. Example: the same restaurant as referenced above, they have something called a Bondi Burger (for those of you who want to know, it's Oporto's and it's fucking awesome) - it's a grilled chicken filet, lettuce, a little mayo, cheese and chili sauce. Now... this chili sauce nearly blew me away - seriously. It was hot, spicy, flavorful, and absolutely fucking wonderful. In America, you're not even going to get this. Our idea of 'flavorful' is minced onion, heh. And unbelievably, Oporto's here is considered 'fast food'! Jesus. If the people in Sydney got a hold of what we considered 'fast food', they'd quite rightly laugh at us....

Things are very, very, very expensive here. A 24 ounce bottle of diet Coke here can range anywhere from 2 to 4 Australian dollars - which is STILL a huge markup from American prices. It really depends on what you buy here, I think. My last grocery bill was all of 10 dollars AUD. Produce and vegetables are very expensive. Meat is cheap, especially steak and lamb. Chicken is expensive. Bread, it depends. Dairy is very expensive - you'll pay dearly for yogurt and milk. And things are labeled here quite differently from things in America. Ketchup here isn't "ketchup" - it's "tomato sauce". Diapers aren't called diapers, they're "nappies". And you'll have to really study the labels on the shelves to know what you're buying!

- Television here is quite interesting. They seem to love recycled American shows, oddly - but there are also some very great choices here for individualized, culturally significant programming. The SBS network here seems to be the best option for people such as myself. I will say that I've watched more television here in the nearly 6 days I've been here than I have in the last three years, hah.

- Women do not seem to wear anything approaching tennis shoes here. I've seen all of two women wearing sneakers - one of them being myself. It seems mainly to be very high heeled boots or dress shoes, nothing else. Actually, the men don't seem to either for all of that - they seem to like loafers or dress shoes. This city, from what I've noticed, seems to be very fashion-conscious, although that could just be because I'm in the downtown district and therefore I'd be exposed to it. I'm sure I stick out like a sore thumb here.

- People drive to the left here, which I had expected to see, but at the same time it's a bit of a shock to actually watch put into practice. It's strange, but I'm actually used to it now and I even can see some of the benefits of it. Every street has "Look Left/Right" painted on the corners to assist us ignorant Americans so that we don't get gobsmacked by a Holden running down the road. :D Also, it's strange, but the pedestrians here seem to do the same thing - you stick to "your side" of the sidewalk, and they do not take it kindly if you just walk "all over the place".

- I've seen all of 3 black (African-descent) people since arriving in Sydney. I've been assured that they do live here, but you would not know it by looking in the streets. There are, however, a LOT of Asian people here. Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Thai, Korean - you name the Asian country, they're here. The cuisine also reflects that - I've never seen so many restaurants in my life with Oriental food. I'm in heaven :D I keep forgetting that I'm technically in the Asia-Pacific Rim, really, and when I do remember, it hits me as to just how far away I really am!

- The weather is mercurial, to say the least, at least at this time of year. It was raining pretty heavily for the first few days I was here, it's started to even out about now. I can definitely see it being VERY hot here in the summertime, as I haven't needed anything more than a hoodie to keep myself warm (it's wintertime here right now, unbelievably). There have been some points where I've had to leave the balcony door open because it's been too hot in here!

I haven't seen much of the 'touristy' type places as most would, but then this isn't my style anyway, as most whom know me are aware. I've been to the Sydney Aquarium (I highly recommend it, by the way), and I'm going to the Taronga Zoo sometime this week. Also, I'll be attending the Tricky concert on the 30th here, as well as a fabulous jazz show at the Basement the night before. I'm so looking forward to it!

Today I'm probably going to do a bit of cleaning up, as I need to do laundry and tidy up in here. It hasn't even been a week here yet! This vacation is going a little slower than I expected, but I'm glad of that. I'm really enjoying myself.

For those of you who have access to my Facebook profile (and most of you do), I've posted some of the pictures into a new album there temporarily. I know that some of them need cleaning up and I will do just that when I get home, as I don't have a photo manip program with me here. But do enjoy them. I wish that I had the ability to be more descriptive, but truly, Sydney's one of these places that you just have to see for yourself. :D

I'm having so much fun. I really am!