So, I received one of those "inspirational" Emails, you know... quote of the day and all of that. I'm usually not into the positive uplift crap, I'm a realistic, bitter bitch.... but today's mail offered up a challenge that I couldn't refuse.
That challenge was as follows:
List eight things that you like about yourself that cannot be tied to anyone else.
That's really quite hard, much more so than I thought. But I decided to give it a try.
1. I'm tenacious.
I'm beating depression - that says enough right there. While I'm not all the way there by any means, I'm a far, far cry from what I was even 6 months ago. And it takes a lot of obstinacy to keep fighting - trust me on this. But I won't give up. I refuse to.
2. I work my ass off.
My work ethic is incredibly strong. I probably work harder than anyone I know. I'm there first, leave last. I deal with the nastiest clients you can possibly imagine... but I do it because it's my job. Same for my classes. I may not like them, but I'll be damned if I leave something unfinished. That's how I roll.
3. My sense of humor.
Admittedly, I don't laugh or smile as often as I once did. But that doesn't mean I don't find things amusing as all hell. People have told me that they find me quite witty, when I want to be. That I don't know about, but I do have the ability to laugh at the most absurd shit.
4. Love of learning.
I've always loved to learn new things. I enjoyed school very much when I was a child (the learning aspect of it, that is - social... ehhhh) and worked very hard to achieve and absorb the lessons that were being taught. It's carried over into my adult life. I don't even know that I'll be done with school after I receive the B.S. degree, because now I'm seriously considering an M.S. in criminal justice. But we'll see.
5. My sense of responsibility.
I grew up with pretty much no money. This earliest lesson in life has taught me to be responsible - not only with money, but with other aspects of my life. If I have a duty to perform, I will do it, and to the best of my ability. I do not shirk from hard or difficult tasks. To do so would go against the grain for me.
6. Generosity.
I've been known to give the shirt off of my back to someone who needed it. (Okay, pervs, make your commments in your heads now, but it's a saying. Fuck off. Haha.) This has often led to people taking outrageous advantage of me, but it's a trait that I wouldn't give up for anything in the world. I love making people happy, and I've been taught to share what I have with others. Granted, I may not have much, but if someone's in need, I share. Not many can say that.
7. Tolerance.
In recent years, this quality has taken a huge backseat, due to... we'll say my choice of company. But in recent months, my tolerance of others has grown a bit stronger. I really do not hold any pre-conceived notions of people before I meet them. I am color-blind. I do not see brown skin or a turban or a man dressed as a woman. I see a human being, flesh and blood, just like me. If I deserve respect as a human being, so do they. End of story.
8. Common sense.
I often lose my temper over this quality, but I really do think I have more "common sense" than most. I think things through, as much as I can, before doing them, and I use contextual clues to help me along when I don't understand something. Now, I know I'm not perfect by any means. But I really do think that for the most part, I've used good judgement when making decisions. Especially lately.
.... so, I managed to do just that. I'm actually pretty surprised that I could list that much, as I never thought that I was really anything special or that I had any good qualities to offer.
But I do. I so rock. :D
Showing posts with label personality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personality. Show all posts
31 May 2011
31 December 2009
The usual expected end-of-year post.
So, this is the part where I'm supposed to either rant or rave about how sucky/great 2009 was, right?
In truth, I don't think I really need to do that, as it's again all laid out for you on the blog if you care to go back and have a look. Were there any highlights for me? Honestly, there weren't - but neither were there any serious setbacks. I think this past year has been what I call a "transition" year.
I haven't made as much progress on my health, either physical or mental, as I would have liked. I am "better" mentally, though not where I'd like to be. And physically? Bleh, that's gone straight to hell, so I need to really focus on that this upcoming year. I'm fast approaching 38 now (God... really? ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh) and if I want any chance of avoiding the inherited family health difficulties, I need to get cracking on that. It might already be too late, to be honest. But I need to try, so.. that's a priority.
I haven't made much progress on my financial situation, either, though I've started a goodish savings account and I'm going to pay off what I can in 2010. I really want to be in the position where I'll be able to buy a house by the time I'm 40. I don't know where I'll go or what kind of place I want yet, but that's not important right now, as I'm not ready for it anyway. 2010 is the year to "get my shit together", I guess I'll say. But I really want to be in better financial shape than I am right now.
Career-wise, I'm doing a lot better. I don't necessarily like my job, and I don't want to take urine for the rest of my life (Jesus, no, heh), but I'm settled in and to a point where I'm riding the job instead of it riding me. We desperately need more staff, as we're short-handed (the last two Tuesdays and Thursdays have nearly been the end of me, I'm not kidding), but they say it's coming. I've heard that one before, heh.
Personally? A write-off. I haven't been paying much attention to relationships or anything of the sort. Now is not the time for that. I have too much going on with other issues to deal with such things, and I have a feeling that 2010 will also be the same as far as that's concerned. I'm just not ready mentally, physically, any of it. I might never be at this rate, but... it's important for me to get everything else straightened out before I can focus on the wretched state of my personal life, heh. Some things that I have had previous difficulties with are starting to resolve themselves, and that's a very good thing...but I'm just not ready.
I don't do "resolutions". It's a pointless waste of time and it only encourages one to fail. I prefer to think of them as loose long-term goals for myself. That doesn't sound so bad, maybe.
This time last year I was alone on New Year's Eve and curled up on my couch watching television. It'll be the same again this year, but hopefully I won't start 2010 depressed and having another attack. I really have been starting to feel better in the last couple of days, so let's hope for the best.
I have discovered an awesome little online community for the depressed and suicidal, so that has and will greatly help me. I would reveal the name of it, but... right now I kind of feel like it's my little secret "haven" from the world and all of the people that know me, so... if you really want to know, leave me a comment/mail/etc. and I'll tell you, because I wouldn't want those who need it to go without.
Second year in a row that the weather's been crap here for New Year's Eve. I don't feel bad for the idiots sitting down at the Inner Harbor waiting for the fireworks. I hope they get rained on but good, heh.
So, anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
2009 in a song? Let's see... I think this pretty much sums it up for me.
Happy new year to all.
In truth, I don't think I really need to do that, as it's again all laid out for you on the blog if you care to go back and have a look. Were there any highlights for me? Honestly, there weren't - but neither were there any serious setbacks. I think this past year has been what I call a "transition" year.
I haven't made as much progress on my health, either physical or mental, as I would have liked. I am "better" mentally, though not where I'd like to be. And physically? Bleh, that's gone straight to hell, so I need to really focus on that this upcoming year. I'm fast approaching 38 now (God... really? ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh) and if I want any chance of avoiding the inherited family health difficulties, I need to get cracking on that. It might already be too late, to be honest. But I need to try, so.. that's a priority.
I haven't made much progress on my financial situation, either, though I've started a goodish savings account and I'm going to pay off what I can in 2010. I really want to be in the position where I'll be able to buy a house by the time I'm 40. I don't know where I'll go or what kind of place I want yet, but that's not important right now, as I'm not ready for it anyway. 2010 is the year to "get my shit together", I guess I'll say. But I really want to be in better financial shape than I am right now.
Career-wise, I'm doing a lot better. I don't necessarily like my job, and I don't want to take urine for the rest of my life (Jesus, no, heh), but I'm settled in and to a point where I'm riding the job instead of it riding me. We desperately need more staff, as we're short-handed (the last two Tuesdays and Thursdays have nearly been the end of me, I'm not kidding), but they say it's coming. I've heard that one before, heh.
Personally? A write-off. I haven't been paying much attention to relationships or anything of the sort. Now is not the time for that. I have too much going on with other issues to deal with such things, and I have a feeling that 2010 will also be the same as far as that's concerned. I'm just not ready mentally, physically, any of it. I might never be at this rate, but... it's important for me to get everything else straightened out before I can focus on the wretched state of my personal life, heh. Some things that I have had previous difficulties with are starting to resolve themselves, and that's a very good thing...but I'm just not ready.
I don't do "resolutions". It's a pointless waste of time and it only encourages one to fail. I prefer to think of them as loose long-term goals for myself. That doesn't sound so bad, maybe.
This time last year I was alone on New Year's Eve and curled up on my couch watching television. It'll be the same again this year, but hopefully I won't start 2010 depressed and having another attack. I really have been starting to feel better in the last couple of days, so let's hope for the best.
I have discovered an awesome little online community for the depressed and suicidal, so that has and will greatly help me. I would reveal the name of it, but... right now I kind of feel like it's my little secret "haven" from the world and all of the people that know me, so... if you really want to know, leave me a comment/mail/etc. and I'll tell you, because I wouldn't want those who need it to go without.
Second year in a row that the weather's been crap here for New Year's Eve. I don't feel bad for the idiots sitting down at the Inner Harbor waiting for the fireworks. I hope they get rained on but good, heh.
So, anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
2009 in a song? Let's see... I think this pretty much sums it up for me.
Happy new year to all.
23 February 2009
The shower is a dangerous place.
I love hot showers. Especially when I have to get up on a Monday morning and face the bleak reality of going back to work with idiots, heh. Here lately, though, it's been a time of not only cleansing my body, but apparently my mind as well, since I seem to have all kinds of crazy thoughts running through my brain.
Here's just a small sample of what went through my head this morning while getting clean:
- Wondering if I'm the only person in the world that uses soap down to the absolute nub. The slivers get used, even if I have to put them in an old pair of pantyhose to keep them together. (Hey, I'm frugal, what can I say.)
- Thinking about my doctor's gentle suggestion (more like order, heh) to start eating breakfast in the morning because it'll help with my depression. Normally I can't eat in the morning, but here recently I've forced myself to. I think it is helping, for what it's worth.
- Wondering if there are people who mirror your personalities almost exactly. I've actually run across two people like that in my life - one in 1995 and another in 2006, both male. The earlier person I absolutely loathed, the latter was just the opposite. Go figure.
- On a similar note, wondering if I disliked said person that I met in '95 because he mirrored the bad things about myself that I don't want to admit to.
- On another similar note, thinking about the person I met in '06 and his tastes in friends, which is nothing short of atrocious, especially when it comes to the female gender. I've discussed it with him before, he knows how I feel about it, but we're at a stalemate on that issue, and knowing how heated we both get when we argue, it's probably best to leave it there, heh.
- Thinking to myself that I've indeed lost weight yet again, and that while I have a long way to go, I'll be a shadow of myself if this keeps up. I think the Wellbutrin's seriously helping with that. I'm wearing a scrub top this morning that I never really felt 'comfortable' in. I still don't, but I suspect that's body anxiety. We'll see.
Meh. It occurs to me that I don't think one thing about world issues, lol. It's probably because I know I can't control what happens, so why worry about it.
Maybe I need to start taking baths in the morning....
Here's just a small sample of what went through my head this morning while getting clean:
- Wondering if I'm the only person in the world that uses soap down to the absolute nub. The slivers get used, even if I have to put them in an old pair of pantyhose to keep them together. (Hey, I'm frugal, what can I say.)
- Thinking about my doctor's gentle suggestion (more like order, heh) to start eating breakfast in the morning because it'll help with my depression. Normally I can't eat in the morning, but here recently I've forced myself to. I think it is helping, for what it's worth.
- Wondering if there are people who mirror your personalities almost exactly. I've actually run across two people like that in my life - one in 1995 and another in 2006, both male. The earlier person I absolutely loathed, the latter was just the opposite. Go figure.
- On a similar note, wondering if I disliked said person that I met in '95 because he mirrored the bad things about myself that I don't want to admit to.
- On another similar note, thinking about the person I met in '06 and his tastes in friends, which is nothing short of atrocious, especially when it comes to the female gender. I've discussed it with him before, he knows how I feel about it, but we're at a stalemate on that issue, and knowing how heated we both get when we argue, it's probably best to leave it there, heh.
- Thinking to myself that I've indeed lost weight yet again, and that while I have a long way to go, I'll be a shadow of myself if this keeps up. I think the Wellbutrin's seriously helping with that. I'm wearing a scrub top this morning that I never really felt 'comfortable' in. I still don't, but I suspect that's body anxiety. We'll see.
Meh. It occurs to me that I don't think one thing about world issues, lol. It's probably because I know I can't control what happens, so why worry about it.
Maybe I need to start taking baths in the morning....
16 January 2009
Fucking... freezing... out.
Goddamn. It is fucking cold outside. I'm seriously considering burrowing under my blankets and staying there for the next four days (which, coincidentally, happens to be a period of time where I don't have to go to work. How 'bout that, heh>. But, bleargh, life as usual gets in the way.
It's been a busy week - not terrible, not great - just busy. Miss Lion is adjusting to things quite nicely in the house. She's got a funny (and admittedly sometimes annoying as fuck) habit of licking my nose to get me up in the morning, and then demands her petting. That cat is insanely stubborn, Gawd love her, heh. <3
I was going to stay up for a bit tonight but in truth, I'm exhausted. I think a warm bed, a good book, and sleep call my name. So, more tomorrow. :p
Quick picture, as promised, taken January 15th. P.S. Ignore the hellish mess in the background ('course, now that I've pointed it out, you'll notice it, isn't that the way, heh).
I <3 my Lion. :D
It's been a busy week - not terrible, not great - just busy. Miss Lion is adjusting to things quite nicely in the house. She's got a funny (and admittedly sometimes annoying as fuck) habit of licking my nose to get me up in the morning, and then demands her petting. That cat is insanely stubborn, Gawd love her, heh. <3
I was going to stay up for a bit tonight but in truth, I'm exhausted. I think a warm bed, a good book, and sleep call my name. So, more tomorrow. :p
Quick picture, as promised, taken January 15th. P.S. Ignore the hellish mess in the background ('course, now that I've pointed it out, you'll notice it, isn't that the way, heh).
I <3 my Lion. :D
11 January 2009
Lazy weekend doings.
Just woke up and I'm enjoying Miss Lion's presence. She came yesterday and boy, is she something else. She has a personality and a half. I was woken up over and over by her wanting to crawl up onto my night table - and when she gets it in her furry little head to do something, she does it and be damned what you think about it. (This sounds like I'm complaining, but she's being a cat - I'm aware of it.) She's seven and a half pounds of chattering, shedding, bull-headed stubbornness - and I'm unashamedly in love with her. :D
Pictures shall follow soon.
Anyway, just a lazy Sunday here at casa Ray. I'm happy, she's happy, we're all happy. Now, talk to me the same time tomorrow and I may not be in the same frame of mind, heh, but... right now all is right with the world.
I am finally beginning to let go of Pearl, though. 7 years since she died and I'm just starting to let go of her. I loved that cat with all of my soul, and it broke me when she died, just broke me. A big part of me feels like I killed her, because I took her into that horrible environment in Georgia - if she'd never gone to that disgusting shack... but it's past now. I can't bring her back, as much as I want to. And Miss Lion needs me now.
Maybe I'm starting the recovery process from that. I know, it seems silly to mourn this deeply over the loss of a cat ("She was only a cat for fuck's sake, get over it" - yes, I've heard this before)... but she was quite literally for a long time my child.. and my best friend. You can't "just get over that".
Anyway, enough sadness for today. I'm going to bond with Miss Lion and maybe get some laundry done. The first part is a win. The second? Eh, but necessary.
Here's hoping for a good week.
Pictures shall follow soon.
Anyway, just a lazy Sunday here at casa Ray. I'm happy, she's happy, we're all happy. Now, talk to me the same time tomorrow and I may not be in the same frame of mind, heh, but... right now all is right with the world.
I am finally beginning to let go of Pearl, though. 7 years since she died and I'm just starting to let go of her. I loved that cat with all of my soul, and it broke me when she died, just broke me. A big part of me feels like I killed her, because I took her into that horrible environment in Georgia - if she'd never gone to that disgusting shack... but it's past now. I can't bring her back, as much as I want to. And Miss Lion needs me now.
Maybe I'm starting the recovery process from that. I know, it seems silly to mourn this deeply over the loss of a cat ("She was only a cat for fuck's sake, get over it" - yes, I've heard this before)... but she was quite literally for a long time my child.. and my best friend. You can't "just get over that".
Anyway, enough sadness for today. I'm going to bond with Miss Lion and maybe get some laundry done. The first part is a win. The second? Eh, but necessary.
Here's hoping for a good week.
02 November 2008
Goddamnit, I KNEW IT!!!! :D I told you all I'm not white, lol!
Your result for The How Black Are You Test...
Got A Lot Of Soul
You scored 86% blackness!
You scored damn high! Congrats! You are down with black people. You know what being black is all about. You didn't score the highest, but hell give it more time and I'm sure you'll get 100%. Good for you for either knowing about another race or knowing about your own!
ps--this test was not made to offend. it is for fun. yes it's about stereotypes, but there are some important history questions in there also. thanks for taking my test and please score me well! thanks!
ps--this test was not made to offend. it is for fun. yes it's about stereotypes, but there are some important history questions in there also. thanks for taking my test and please score me well! thanks!
01 November 2008
More personality tests. I'm an addict. I know it.
So I discovered this site a long time ago called Similar Minds where they have a lot of really good personality tests - not the stupid Myspace-style shit where they ask you really fucking dumb questions like "What kind of ice cream are you" - like that matters in the grand scheme of the world, heh. Similar Minds is a bit different in that it has the famous Jungian type test (you know, ISTP/ENFJ/blah blah), enneagrams, that sort of thing. It's a lot more 'sophisticated' as these things go, and even if one doesn't believe in personality tests as a rule, I still think it's an interesting way to waste one's time, heh. I'd really like to get a hold of the MMPI one of these days - as someone with a diagnosed mental health condition, I'm kind of curious as to what it would say about me... which I guess is the reason why I do these things in the first place.
Anyway, here's some of the results that I got from some of these tests... kind of interesting, really.
Hrrrm. I don't like to think of myself as emotionally unstable, but... well, heh, I am cracked, after all, aren't I.
Just for ess-in-gees... here's one of my latest acquisitions that I've madly fallen in love with. I swear to God I'm black. I swear it.
ETA: I have been asked just what this track is and who's done it - it's called "Let It Go" by Keyshia Cole (with Missy Elliott, and Lil' Kim, who appears about 3 minutes into the song). Good, isn't it? Keyshia Cole is an up-and-coming star, you'd do well to check her out. Her range of talent goes far beyond just this!
Anyway, here's some of the results that I got from some of these tests... kind of interesting, really.
| Advanced Big 45 Personality Test Results
|
Hrrrm. I don't like to think of myself as emotionally unstable, but... well, heh, I am cracked, after all, aren't I.
Just for ess-in-gees... here's one of my latest acquisitions that I've madly fallen in love with. I swear to God I'm black. I swear it.
ETA: I have been asked just what this track is and who's done it - it's called "Let It Go" by Keyshia Cole (with Missy Elliott, and Lil' Kim, who appears about 3 minutes into the song). Good, isn't it? Keyshia Cole is an up-and-coming star, you'd do well to check her out. Her range of talent goes far beyond just this!
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