I've been sorely tested as of late.

As most of you who keep up with my life in any way know by now, my house was broken into on Saturday night while I was out for a rare social event, and my television was stolen, along with a few choice electronic items (including the brand new computer that I'd just bought not even 30 days ago). To say that I feel violated doesn't even begin to cover it, and I've spent the last 48 hours contacting banks, credit card companies, and spending a country fortune replacing computers, electronic equipment, and installing a security system in this house - for I'll be damned if I ever let this happen again.

I've not been to work today, and won't be going tomorrow, either - I have to wait for the security people, as well as go to the banks and reopen accounts under new numbers, etc. A major hassle, and I have no idea of how I'll be able to pay my bills on time, which of course adds another layer of inconvenience.

However... this situation has taught me so very much. It's taught me that I can handle even a horrible event like this. And that I have so much more support and friendship than I ever dreamed I did. People have been calling me, asking after me, offering to help, leaving messages of support for me. In my darkest days of depression, I never would have believed that people cared about me.. and yet, the last 48 hours have taught me better. Even my family has stepped up to the plate for me in ways that I never believed possible.

It's comforted me. I feel afraid and violated... but also that much stronger.

A couple of thugs took my electronics. But in a way, they gave me insight and the realization that people really do love me.

In that, maybe I came out ahead after all.

I've been a spendy thing as of late.

This weekend, I've added a brand new Asus U50 notebook to the current arsenal of computers that reside in my house. I bought this one to replace the Dell Inspiron that my mother "lent" me way back when, the same one that I took to Australia with me. The old Dell was quite frankly a piece of crap - she bought as cheaply as she could and it showed - and it finally gave up the ghost this past weekend. It still works, but when you have to secure the cord with duct tape in order to make it stay in, there's a problem with it as far as I'm concerned. Therefore, the Asus. So far I'm finding it a really nice piece of equipment, though Windows 7 is taking some getting used to. I must say, this is hand-holding at its best, this op system is so simple that a person with an IQ below 70 could manage it. Which means most of the population, heh...

Also: I've booked another cruise, but this time I'm going alone and I'm traveling on a different line. I've selected Carnival, I'm hoping there'll be more people there under 65, heh. I'm going to find out if the bad time that I had was really because I hate cruising, or because of the company I kept. I have a nasty feeling that it was the latter, because I'm already somewhat excited about this, way more than I was for the other cruise. It's not for another year, though, so it's waaaay off. But I'm looking forward to it. This one's to the Bahamas, a place I've never been. I meant it when I said I was going to travel for a bit before I "settled down", and now's the time to do it. I'm also planning on going to Europe at one point next year, as well as possibly going back to Australia - though I don't know if I can swing that either financially or time-off wise. We'll see.

Other than spending a fuckload of money recently, there's really nothing new to report. Work sucks as usual, but it's not sucking any more than normal. Life is okay. I'm not really overly excited about much, but at the same time, things aren't going terribly, either. I guess that I'm just sort of... waiting for what's going to come up, be it positive or negative. Maybe that's a bad thing, just... waiting. But isn't that what we all do, really? Some just don't put a label on it. Sometimes I do wish my life were more exciting, though, but I'm aware that 1. I'm the one that needs to put excitement into it and 2. in some ways I've had more than enough excitement for one lifetime. It may not seem so to you, dear Reader, but my life has been one constant excitement after another, and I'm honestly enjoying peace, whatever semblance of it that I can get. Some of you have a good idea of what I've been through, but some of you don't know a thing or can't even imagine it. That's okay. Stick around, kids, you'll find out over time, I have no doubt of that.

Not much planned for next weekend. I have a paper due on Sunday, and I'm going bowling for Halloween, at least part of the day. Other than that, not much else for now. Maybe I can... heh, find some excitement?

If you're in the Maryland/DC/Virginia area, I'm up for whatever you've got in mind, just let me know before, say, Thursday. As some would say, "Holla at me". :p

Okay. You know I'm better if I'm actually inviting you people to go out. Goddamn. :D

Enough for now. Mwah and stuff of that nature.

P.S. I saw "Where the Wild Things Are" last night. Well-made film. But depressing as shit. You've been warned.

Still doing pretty well!

After the last three weeks of what was probably the worst time period for me in quite a few years, I'm still pretty much in control and feeling good (though feeling 'good' for me is not breaking into tears every five minutes, heh). I'm still dealing with a lot of stress from work, but I guess that's to be expected when you deal with idiots. For example, observe this little exchange that occurred today. I'd expect this from the people I take urine from - not a gubmint worker.

Coworker: "I need your help, please."
Myself (wandering over unwillingly): "Yes, what is it."
Coworker: "Look at this paper for a second, please, I need to make sure this sounds okay."
Myself (looking down at paper and seeing nothing wrong): "It's fine."
Coworker: "Yes, but how do you abbreviate the word second?"
Myself (looking at the paper and noting that it's clearly marked '2nd' on the paper): "Uh. It's there. On the paper."
Coworker (looks down): "Where?"
Myself (now speaking very slowly, as to a six year old): "Two....en.... dee."
Coworker: "Ohhhh! I see it now, thank you."
Myself (trying not to mutter 'moron' under my breath): "You're welcome."
Coworker (calling after me as I start to leave): "So how do you abbreviate the word floor?"
Myself (resisting the urge to bang my head against a doorway): (complete silence)

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the caliber of person that is working for your government. And yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the caliber of person that is responsible for your safety in the nation's capital. Reassured yet?

(/sarcasm off)

Anyway, other than the usual idiocy... things are fine. One note, though - I did decide to take my real name off of the profile here. Why? Because although I no longer go by a 'persona' as I did in the IRC days, this is still my blog and my personal business. Yes, it's on the web, I'm well aware - "How personal could it be?", I bet you're thinking.

Here's the thing, okay. I write in here, 99.9% of the time, on my personal time. I don't write in it at work, I don't bitch and complain about my coworkers when I'm there - I'm there to do a job. As far as I'm concerned, however, when quitting time comes around, what I do is my business. If that includes talking about how idiotic everyone I work with is, that's again my concern and my business. I'm sure that the gubmint's already 'watching' me to some extent - they may know all about this blog. That's okay by me, because as far as I know, expressing my opinion is still perfectly legal. And I'm not 'afraid' of any of the people I work with - believe me, if they ask me what I think of them, I'll tell them outright and frankly enjoy it, too, heh. Good thing they haven't asked me, isn't it. But there's no point in muddying the waters, so to speak. My "colleagues" have no reason to look me up on the Internet - and even if they did, my real name is disgustingly common, anyway. Still, I'd rather just keep my blog as my personal outlet for my frustration, you know?

No, I'm not chicken, lol. I'm sure some might think that - to which I say, "Fuck you." :)

Couple of things in the works tonight - my Dell Mini shipped today and I'm looking forward to it, very much. Will post pictures when I can get a hold of a camera that works, heh. I may be buying a camera very shortly as well.

And... I'm looking for a new apartment. Might have one lined up, I'm going to see it over the weekend. Will keep everyone posted.

And th-th-th-that's all, folks. Thursday at the drug unit again tomorrow, blehfuckgawddamnsonofasyphiliticbitch. I'm so looking forward to that, sarcasm off again.

Off to watch Mythbusters. More later.

My good mood persists.

Even though it's Sunday and therefore little time until the idiocy begins again, somehow I'm actually not minding as much as I have the last few weeks. Perhaps the Abilify has finally kicked in and is starting to work. Whatever the reason, I'm grateful for the respite.

Not really much to say today - it really is the definition of 'a lazy Sunday' - but maybe that's a good thing in my case, heh.

I've been thinking, but instead of thinking about negativity and how I'd like to slap people stupid... I've been thinking about perhaps making efforts to mend fences with people that I was angry with... and maybe shouldn't have been. It's going to take a lot to overcome my stubborn pride, but with time... perhaps. I need to think about it, as I told someone last night.

I really do feel good. I'm reveling in it - this is so rare for me.

On a side note, my Dell Mini is "still in production", but now the automated line is saying April 13th. I can't wait to get it.

Also, I'm finally getting around to cleaning up, fixing, and posting my pictures from Sydney. I know, I know, it took a year. Deal with it. :p More details as they're available.

Until next time, cheers.

P.S. Does anyone else find the guy holding the April sign in the human calendar on the sidebar just.... looks creepy as fuck? Maybe it's me...

Back on American soil!

As I write this, I'm sitting here in the Los Angeles airport, waiting for my last flight(s) home from Sydney. I'm taking in the atmosphere (thanks, T-Mobile, for giving me a day pass to the 'net - hey, 10 bucks is worth it when you're sitting here for 10 hours on a layover!) and having my first meal back in this country - no doubt something laden with fat and grease and nasty stuff (okay, it's just a hot dog and fries, but we all know what that's like here in America, now don't we). Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir" is playing overhead in the takeout joint. Somehow it seems a fitting welcome home.

In a word - awesome. That's all that I can say about this trip. Fucking awesome.

Before I get into my last few days in Sydney, I do want to give a huge shoutout to the crew(s) of Air New Zealand. If you're going to go anywhere in that direction - Auckland, or Sydney, or anywhere they fly - go with them. They treat even their "economy" cabin passengers like kings (or queens, as it were). The flight is horrendously long - the flight from Auckland to LAX was a mind-boggling 12 hours - but they can't do enough to make sure that you're comfortable and happy. This flight back was a lot easier than the flight going there. I think it's because I didn't get stuck with a stupid baby pissing in my lap this time, but two very nice young Australian girls (not real young, I'd guess late teens maybe) that were quiet, polite and friendly. When you're stuck for 12 hours, you can't do better than that.

A quick side note: This is an official complaint that the LAX Airport needs tables to put things on. Seriously. Holding the notebook up to my chest while I type is not at all comfortable.

Anyhow I'll be perfectly honest in that I really didn't do much more during my time in Sydney other than chill out with friends, grabbed some very much needed relaxation, etc. Two things stand out - I did the famous Sydney Harbour Bridgeclimb (which scared the living shit out of me going down - up wasn't so bad, it was like climbing my apartment stairs, but down is a fucking killer)... and it was motherfucking cold up there... goddamn. :o I was chilled for probably the rest of the day after I did that. But the views, oh my God, the views were breathtaking. I didn't get pictures of this, unfortunately - they don't allow your own camera up there, they make you lock it up - and their photograph was like 25, 30 bucks and I wasn't about to fall for that tourist trap. I looked like shit anyway, heh. You'll just have to trust me when I say that I did it!

I also went to the Taronga Zoo, and I did get pictures of that. They're not uploaded yet, however, and I'm not going to do it in the airport, because I don't know where my cord is, it's probably packed, and even if it's not, I'm too fucking tired to do it anyway.

I can feel my energy draining very, very quickly. I am very tired.

Taronga was the best part of my visit, I'll say that much. You know I'll give details when I get home and I'm feeling better. But... yes. I had a wonderful, wonderful time. :D

I leave this question for you to ponder in the meantime. After a friendly, uh, 'discussion' :D ... which is correct?

Enroll or enrol? (Note: 'enrol' on the M-W Dictionary says it's a variant,eh-hem-hem-hem :D (grinning)

Vote now and you'll... uh, get a free T-shirt? I donno. :p

A little bit of testing tonight.

I'm writing this from the location of my living room sofa, on the notebook, just to get an idea of what it's going to feel like while I'm in Sydney, trying to write on this thing. I don't have a fuck of a lot of experience with notebooks, or working with them in any capacity other than installing operating systems on them - and it shows. I've decided that I don't like this tiny little keyboard, or this stupid touchpad that's "supposed" to be a mouse. Which makes this no more than a 500 dollar DVD player - hardly worth the effort. Still, I'll be glad to have it while on holiday, if only to keep the few readers of this blog entertained with my photographs. Christ, I'm going to look like such a tourist, heh.

I've more or less stayed away from the blog this week, due to the fact that I've been slightly depressed, and I made the decision when I started this over not to use this blog as a tool for my constant complaining. That seems to be what everyone uses them for - either that or to show off how supposedly "cool" they are. Meah, whatever!

I'm still pretty tired. Jesus, I hate Baltimore summers!

I've also decided that I hate the Caps Lock key on this keyboard. Motherfucking thing.

Anyway, that's what's new and exciting in my life, heh. Oh, yeah, I also washed quilts today. I know, earth shattering news! :p