So much going on....

I'm off again to the land of travel. Explain myself, right? Well, okay.

I've decided to go on a cruise. Yes, that's right, you heard correctly. I'm going on a cruise in mid-September to Canada and New England on Royal Caribbean. What prompted this, you ask? (Yes, I can hear you saying it.) Well... here's the part that might shock you.

I've decided to take this trip with my mother.

Okay. Now I know I'm hearing jaws dropping to the floor. "WHY?", right? For several reasons.

#1: She's paying for it. Who's going to turn down a free trip?

#2: I think she's offered this because she knows that she... won't have a lot more time to take these trips, you know what I mean? If the family pattern holds true to form... she's going to be gone in 10 years, maybe less. I'm thinking that maybe she's realizing all of what she's lost as far as I'm concerned over the years, you know? Maybe it's a "guilt trip", so to speak. I don't know. But she's invited me along, so who am I to say no?

#3: This is sort of connected, but... I feel a need to maybe try one more time to connect with my mother again, even if it's not on the level that it was when I was a small child. I just want one more attempt to have things the way they used to be, before all of the stupid fucking troubles started. Then maybe I won't be completely broken inside when she does finally pass away, you know?

Heh, I can already feel myself tearing up at that thought, so I'll move on from that subject, thanks.

Anyway, the plan seems to be Baltimore - Bar Harbor ME - Portland ME - St. John's Bay, Canada - Halifax NS Canada - Boston MA - back to Baltimore. It's a 9 day cruise. It was not cheap. And I hope to Christ that my job doesn't give me a bunch of shit about going, because it's too late to cancel it, heh.

I've wanted to go to Boston and to Maine for some time now. I guess this is the way to go.

I'm hopeful that this cruise will finally bring my mother and I a little closer, or at least to some understanding. I wonder what my therapist is going to say about this...heh... but we'll see. If it gets too awful I can take off of my own, I suppose... but I'm hoping that won't be the case.

Here's some pictures of the ship.

Other than this news, not much has really been happening as of late. Work sucks, as usual - but at least it's consistent.

I'm excited to be traveling again. And pictures? But of course.