I've been snowed in over here for the last week. Haven't had to work or deal with drug addicts or urine for nearly 7 days now. However, during the course of this massive storm, I've had to check every day for the operating status of the gubmint - there's a special website we go to in order to know whether we're open or closed - and in the course of reading several federal-related blogs, I've come across sentiments like these below:
"Those of us who work for a living are honored to support your lazy butt staying in bed...it isn't as if you woulda done anything had you been there!
Yep, what we need is bigger Government!"
(Taken from The Federal Eye, 2/10/09)
Or...
"The federal workers who had a day off today should have been required to shovel snow."
Or this little gem here...
"The Federal Government -- great "work" (and I'm using that term very loosely-- if you can get it. For us poor schmucks out in the occupied provinces who have to pick up the tab, it's not so good."
Okay. This is all I've got to say about this bullshit above -
1.) I'd telework if I could do so, but it's a little difficult taking urine over the Internet. If anyone's got a way to do this, bring it on and let me know, because I'd have rather worked than spent this entire week snowbound at home. It's not like I could get out of my house, anyway.
2.) The Washington Metro subway isn't running. Neither are the MARC trains. What do people expect me to do, walk from Baltimore? It's not happening. I can't even get down to Calvert Street, never mind D.C. If the public transportation doesn't run, neither do I. You tell me what to do, should I hang on to the back of a fucking snowplow?
3.) If you had to work all this week in a snowstorm, blame your employer - not me. I don't set your hours. If it were up to me, I'd let everyone have a free week off, pay you, the whole deal. This wasn't a vacation for me. I spent 3 out of the last 7 days going stir fucking crazy in this house - I know I've had at least one depressive attack, if not more. So as far as I'm concerned, those who are complaining can shove it up their asses.
This has been the biggest snowstorm.. well, ever. This is unprecedented. We here in Baltimore/D.C. are not used to this bullshit, this isn't Minnesota. People should not expect us to know what to do in a situation like this, because it's never happened. We just have no clue about how to cope.
In other news... I'm upset about my checking account. Some company on the Internet decided to pluck my debit card number out of thin air and run 320 dollars' worth of charges on my account. That was pretty much my entire paycheck for the next 2 weeks, so I'm needless to say furious. I've disputed the charges, of course, but since this is my checking account, I literally have no money until the next payday. In some ways, I'm lucky that I didn't have to work this week, because I'd be in serious trouble if I had. My debit card is my lifeline, literally, and the fact that I had to cancel it, that is also a source of fury. I knew that number backward and forward to the point where I didn't even need the actual card itself. Now I have to memorize a whole new number - good luck with that.
I'm working it out, but in the meantime I'm fucked. I will say one thing - do not, do not, do not do any business with a place called Digital River - they're somewhere in the wilds of fucking Minnesota. Apparently they handle some antivirus shit. I don't need such services, so I know damned well these charges are unfuckingauthorized. But I'll get it taken care of. I've reported them to the BBB, too. Let's see how they enjoy that little piece of news.
I did, however, pay off a good chunk of my debts this week. I'm not sure of how much credit-to-debit ratio I have now, but I know it's under 40%. That's good. That's VERY good.
Anyway, hopefully they'll clear these streets up soon so I can get out of here for a while. I don't really want to go back to work, but if they do call open tomorrow, it'll be okay - it's Friday. Won't be much going on.
No word on the crim grades yet. Doing well in the math course, surprisingly. And the IFSM is disgustingly easy. So far.
Okay, that's it for now. Nothing else doing.
Showing posts with label lazy bastards. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lazy bastards. Show all posts
14 October 2009
Hmmm....
I've been busy over the last couple of days, and a lot has happened, but.. for some reason I just don't much feel like talking about any of it. Nothing bad, just... I think lazy is a better word for it. It's been cold as fuck here lately and I've wanted to curl up in bed and sleep it away. At least my wanting to stay in bed isn't because of depression! :)
I've had disturbing dreams about my family as of late, specifically my mother and brother, who were the two primary figures in my life while I was growing up. I can't really articulate them very well - as usual, I've partially blocked it out - but I've also neglected to write down my dreams. Usually if they've made a huge impact on my life I'll remember them on my own, anyway. I do dislike thinking about my family, even subconsciously. The more awareness I come to, the more that I realize that I just want to be done with them all - mother, brother, everyone. Sad, but I have to be truthful with myself. I've already "disowned" my father and have more or less told him so. One of these...no, wait.
I keep saying that one of these days I'm going to write him a letter, but... where else should I do it but here. Maybe when I'm less tired, I will. Tonight isn't a good night to do such things, as I might get upset and we don't want that, do we, kiddies.
One of my coworkers had urine thrown on him this week. Everyone's worst nightmare down at work. They tried to deny him six hours of leave, but he raised a huge stink (if you'll pardon the irony, hah hah) about it and he got it anyway. The way I see it is this - if Useless can take two weeks off for being stuck in an elevator for 20 minutes, I think this guy can take six hours' leave to go to the doctor to make sure that urine didn't get in his eyes, don't you agree?
That place is just ... fucked. Seriously.
We roll back the time in two weeks. I can't wait - it means winter is finally here and I love the cold weather (though I'm not sure about this early in the season).
No grade on the paper for crim yet. I don't know if that's good or bad, but I'm not getting a bad vibe from it, so... maybe I did well. Still waiting....
Brrr. My feet are freezing, so I'm getting into bed, and I hope the cat comes up and warms them for me. :D
Until next time.
I've had disturbing dreams about my family as of late, specifically my mother and brother, who were the two primary figures in my life while I was growing up. I can't really articulate them very well - as usual, I've partially blocked it out - but I've also neglected to write down my dreams. Usually if they've made a huge impact on my life I'll remember them on my own, anyway. I do dislike thinking about my family, even subconsciously. The more awareness I come to, the more that I realize that I just want to be done with them all - mother, brother, everyone. Sad, but I have to be truthful with myself. I've already "disowned" my father and have more or less told him so. One of these...no, wait.
I keep saying that one of these days I'm going to write him a letter, but... where else should I do it but here. Maybe when I'm less tired, I will. Tonight isn't a good night to do such things, as I might get upset and we don't want that, do we, kiddies.
One of my coworkers had urine thrown on him this week. Everyone's worst nightmare down at work. They tried to deny him six hours of leave, but he raised a huge stink (if you'll pardon the irony, hah hah) about it and he got it anyway. The way I see it is this - if Useless can take two weeks off for being stuck in an elevator for 20 minutes, I think this guy can take six hours' leave to go to the doctor to make sure that urine didn't get in his eyes, don't you agree?
That place is just ... fucked. Seriously.
We roll back the time in two weeks. I can't wait - it means winter is finally here and I love the cold weather (though I'm not sure about this early in the season).
No grade on the paper for crim yet. I don't know if that's good or bad, but I'm not getting a bad vibe from it, so... maybe I did well. Still waiting....
Brrr. My feet are freezing, so I'm getting into bed, and I hope the cat comes up and warms them for me. :D
Until next time.
26 August 2009
An open letter to the people I serve at work.
I know that one of the conditions of your probation or parole is to give a urine sample for drugs. I also know that this is the last thing you want to be doing - I totally get that. Did you know that in the course of a day, I do little things for you all that help the process go by easier for you? I have an idea.. let's work together so that the process goes easier for both of us. Want to know how you can do that? Great.
Have a look at the following suggestions. Feel free to use one or all of them. I won't mind a bit.
1. Come in on time. That's right, it helps greatly when you all don't bum-rush us starting at 6:30 at night all the way up to closing time. We're open for 12 hours a day. Some of you don't have employment - so in truth you have no excuse whatsoever. We work hard and we like to go home to our families and friends at night, just like you do. If you do, however, decide to be rude and come in during the last 15 to 20 minutes we're open - don't expect a warm welcome or a big smile, because you won't get it. We're tired, and we want to leave. That leads us to suggestion #2...
2. Give your sample and leave. Don't engage us in conversation in the bathrooms. You're not supposed to be talking in there anyway, it's considered a distraction. And to be frank, we're not interested in what a bitch you think your parole officer is, or your complaints about how you have to do this every week/month. We didn't put you in the position you're in - you did. Don't blame us for your stupid actions. We also know you have friends out there in the waiting room - a sad thing in itself - but we don't appreciate the loud music or the cell phones blaring the latest 'gangsta' hit or the gossiping that you all seem to do while you're there. Your requirement is to pee and leave - that's it, thanks, no more is necessary.
3. Have some pride. Seriously, folks, this one isn't hard. When you're a child, you're taught to flush the toilet. Please do so. I take back over 200 people per day - that's a lot of urine. No one wants to see your offerings in the toilet when we come in there, okay? That's just trifling, if you want to put it bluntly. I don't want to see your piss, or your used tampons floating in the water, I don't want to see crumpled paper towels on the floor, I don't want to have to apologize to the next customer that comes in there with me because you couldn't clean up after your nasty self. Hygiene is a fucking basic - I don't care how many drugs you've done, you know better than to do that shit in your home, at least I hope you do. Don't do it here either.
4. Don't argue with me; you'll lose.
This one is simple. You're there because you're on probation or parole. You're there to serve your time and to pay for what you've done wrong. Therefore if I tell you that you need to do something - you do it. Period. No arguments, no whining, no bitching. I run the show here, not you. If I have people waiting in line to submit their samples, you don't get moved to the front of the line on a whim. If I need a new picture of you, you're going to do it - if you don't, you don't test, and you can explain that to your parole officer when you're sanctioned for not doing what you're supposed to. If you need paperwork for me to process you, you'll get that paper before I do one thing to your record. You don't get it? You don't test. That's it - no argument. This is your life I'm handling here - if you don't have enough respect for your own life, that's not my problem, but I'll be damned if I'm going to get into trouble for your stupidity.
5. Do something with your life. I see too many of you on a daily basis wasting away. Get out there and do something. Can't find a job? Go back to school, they're offering financial aid and Christ knows that you all qualify, I work for a living and can't get shit so you sure have no excuse. Take advantage of the help that we're offering you. Don't sit on your ass and do nothing all day, because that's called being a parasite - and I'll be damned if you're going to feed off of me. The drugs might be tempting, but look where it got your dumb ass - in here, giving me a urine sample in a filthy bathroom. How's that working for you?
Like I said... feel free to follow these suggestions. You might find that your life will improve greatly if you do. And for those that would ignore my advice... fine by me, but you'll be in my unit year after year after year giving me urine, so get comfy, you'll be in the system a long, long time.
'nuff said.
Have a look at the following suggestions. Feel free to use one or all of them. I won't mind a bit.
1. Come in on time. That's right, it helps greatly when you all don't bum-rush us starting at 6:30 at night all the way up to closing time. We're open for 12 hours a day. Some of you don't have employment - so in truth you have no excuse whatsoever. We work hard and we like to go home to our families and friends at night, just like you do. If you do, however, decide to be rude and come in during the last 15 to 20 minutes we're open - don't expect a warm welcome or a big smile, because you won't get it. We're tired, and we want to leave. That leads us to suggestion #2...
2. Give your sample and leave. Don't engage us in conversation in the bathrooms. You're not supposed to be talking in there anyway, it's considered a distraction. And to be frank, we're not interested in what a bitch you think your parole officer is, or your complaints about how you have to do this every week/month. We didn't put you in the position you're in - you did. Don't blame us for your stupid actions. We also know you have friends out there in the waiting room - a sad thing in itself - but we don't appreciate the loud music or the cell phones blaring the latest 'gangsta' hit or the gossiping that you all seem to do while you're there. Your requirement is to pee and leave - that's it, thanks, no more is necessary.
3. Have some pride. Seriously, folks, this one isn't hard. When you're a child, you're taught to flush the toilet. Please do so. I take back over 200 people per day - that's a lot of urine. No one wants to see your offerings in the toilet when we come in there, okay? That's just trifling, if you want to put it bluntly. I don't want to see your piss, or your used tampons floating in the water, I don't want to see crumpled paper towels on the floor, I don't want to have to apologize to the next customer that comes in there with me because you couldn't clean up after your nasty self. Hygiene is a fucking basic - I don't care how many drugs you've done, you know better than to do that shit in your home, at least I hope you do. Don't do it here either.
4. Don't argue with me; you'll lose.
This one is simple. You're there because you're on probation or parole. You're there to serve your time and to pay for what you've done wrong. Therefore if I tell you that you need to do something - you do it. Period. No arguments, no whining, no bitching. I run the show here, not you. If I have people waiting in line to submit their samples, you don't get moved to the front of the line on a whim. If I need a new picture of you, you're going to do it - if you don't, you don't test, and you can explain that to your parole officer when you're sanctioned for not doing what you're supposed to. If you need paperwork for me to process you, you'll get that paper before I do one thing to your record. You don't get it? You don't test. That's it - no argument. This is your life I'm handling here - if you don't have enough respect for your own life, that's not my problem, but I'll be damned if I'm going to get into trouble for your stupidity.
5. Do something with your life. I see too many of you on a daily basis wasting away. Get out there and do something. Can't find a job? Go back to school, they're offering financial aid and Christ knows that you all qualify, I work for a living and can't get shit so you sure have no excuse. Take advantage of the help that we're offering you. Don't sit on your ass and do nothing all day, because that's called being a parasite - and I'll be damned if you're going to feed off of me. The drugs might be tempting, but look where it got your dumb ass - in here, giving me a urine sample in a filthy bathroom. How's that working for you?
Like I said... feel free to follow these suggestions. You might find that your life will improve greatly if you do. And for those that would ignore my advice... fine by me, but you'll be in my unit year after year after year giving me urine, so get comfy, you'll be in the system a long, long time.
'nuff said.
03 May 2009
Rain and laziness.
Not much of anything going on. I've had a couple of invites to places this weekend, but due to my stupid tailbone injury I've had to decline. For once, I wanted to go - perhaps this means that I'm feeling a little more social these days. But I've been through such hell in the last few years with this depression of mine that I don't want to assume that anything's over. Even now I can feel a headache brewing - so it's not quite as over as I want to believe.
I'm doing much better these days, though.
It's raining out and I'm just enjoying it. Somehow being lazy on my couch fits with a day like this.
Not much else to tell. I did get up off of my ass and clean a little, in the bedroom and in the kitchen.. so maybe I am starting to see a light in the tunnel. I don't know.
I just don't want to rush recovery. I'm so scared that it's all just temporary.
Time for the Flintstones and to curl up in a throw. More later this week, undoubtedly when I feel like shit from working, heh.
I'm doing much better these days, though.
It's raining out and I'm just enjoying it. Somehow being lazy on my couch fits with a day like this.
Not much else to tell. I did get up off of my ass and clean a little, in the bedroom and in the kitchen.. so maybe I am starting to see a light in the tunnel. I don't know.
I just don't want to rush recovery. I'm so scared that it's all just temporary.
Time for the Flintstones and to curl up in a throw. More later this week, undoubtedly when I feel like shit from working, heh.
15 April 2009
The same old bullshit.
Tired of work. Sick of working with people that have the mentalities of five year olds. I know, I know, "be grateful you have a job". I am. I'm just sick of people that don't seem to realize how lucky they truly are right now. If they're so unhappy about the way things are run down there, they should fucking quit - it would make both them and me happy.
I've decided that from now on, I'm just not going to deal with anyone down there unless I have to in the course of work. That means no more favors, no more asking me for shit. I'm not willing and I'm not going to volunteer a goddamned thing.
See, this is exactly what happens when someone pisses me off enough. If I'm happy in a situation, I can't do enough for you. Need a day off? You got it. Want me to fill in somewhere? No problem. Extra weekends? Absolutely. Then piss me off... all of that and more will just go away, like it never happened. I have no problem with saying no to people, especially when I'm angry.
They've seen my last favor down there, I assure you.
Godalmighty, please let that position I applied for with the parole/probation assistantship go through. I desperately need out of here.
Otherwise, life rolls on. I'm doing okay except for this.
Meh.
I've decided that from now on, I'm just not going to deal with anyone down there unless I have to in the course of work. That means no more favors, no more asking me for shit. I'm not willing and I'm not going to volunteer a goddamned thing.
See, this is exactly what happens when someone pisses me off enough. If I'm happy in a situation, I can't do enough for you. Need a day off? You got it. Want me to fill in somewhere? No problem. Extra weekends? Absolutely. Then piss me off... all of that and more will just go away, like it never happened. I have no problem with saying no to people, especially when I'm angry.
They've seen my last favor down there, I assure you.
Godalmighty, please let that position I applied for with the parole/probation assistantship go through. I desperately need out of here.
Otherwise, life rolls on. I'm doing okay except for this.
Meh.
08 April 2009
Congratulations to the state of Maryland....
....you win the award for complete incompetency.
28,000 Maryland Tax Refunds Get Wrong Signature
All that I can say is... fucking duh. Heh.
28,000 Maryland Tax Refunds Get Wrong Signature
All that I can say is... fucking duh. Heh.
19 December 2008
Gah, this has been one suck-tastic week.
I've probably had the worst week of the year, from Monday all the way up to today. I am so fucking grateful that I'm home and don't have to deal with the insanity that is work for the next two days.
Here's my week in a quick review:
Monday: I had a major attack of depression and was unable to go to work. (See approximately one to two posts before this one.)
Tuesday: It was... well, Tuesday at the drug unit, which is usually 'nuff said. I was two hours late because someone had a seizure on the train and we all had to wait for an ambulance. However, keep in mind - this is Baltimore City. So the two hour wait was normal, heh. One of my coworkers (the one who refuses to leave me the fuck alone) was getting on my LAST nerve and I nearly told her to STFU, etc. Luckily I was able to keep my mouth shut. But barely. And I had to spend almost the entirety of the morning arguing with my insurance company to attempt to get an appointment for the therapy that I so desperately fucking need.
Wednesday: The train was late AGAIN - this time the excuse was that the rails were frozen and they were "trying to clear the ice off of the tracks" - so how come the fucking Amtrak train that I bought a ticket for (at 15 extra dollars) was running just fine? Anyone have an answer for that one? (And I STILL got there late - but 5 minutes late, not 2 hours.) And I got singled out in the monthly staff meeting for simply asking a question about procedure. Great.
Thursday: Probably one of the worst days ever. A coworker had a snit with me over something that happened in the staff meeting that I got bawled out in the PREVIOUS day and gave me 'the silent treatment' like a sniveling 4 year old. Every asshole that walked through the door was pissy, loud and just fucking rude. I had an entire bottle of diet Pepsi spill into my good purse - ruining my checkbook, my wallet, the book I was reading, AND my MARC train pass for the month. And I got out of work 30 minutes late because of said assholes deciding that we didn't mean what we said when we said we closed at fucking 5pm for the holidays.
Friday (today): I got to work to find out that some very important papers were MISSING - which could have meant my job AND my ass. (Luckily I found out that I'd accidentally shredded them - still a bonehead move but at least one that saved my job, and my ass, heh.) An asshole that walked through the door today gave me shit about updating a photograph and claimed that "he'd remember my name and that I'd hear from him" - as if that's going to bother me, I'm not the one with the criminal record, dickcheese - and it was disgustingly busy all day today. Friday is usually dead. Not this Friday. Not at all.
So... I think I can easily say, thank fucking Christ this week is over. I've already informed everyone I know that my "favor bank" is fucking tapped out tonight. I am not doing one goddamned thing tonight that isn't for myself or doesn't benefit ME in some way. And if people find that selfish, oh fucking well, heh.
Yep. I'm cursing up a storm - it's obvious that I'm angry. But I'm going to kick back, enjoy some hot Chinese food, cuddle up on my sofa, and surf the 'net/do whatever I want to (which tonight is nothing at all, heh).
Christ. I fucking pray next week isn't going to be this bad. I can't take it.
Here's my week in a quick review:
Monday: I had a major attack of depression and was unable to go to work. (See approximately one to two posts before this one.)
Tuesday: It was... well, Tuesday at the drug unit, which is usually 'nuff said. I was two hours late because someone had a seizure on the train and we all had to wait for an ambulance. However, keep in mind - this is Baltimore City. So the two hour wait was normal, heh. One of my coworkers (the one who refuses to leave me the fuck alone) was getting on my LAST nerve and I nearly told her to STFU, etc. Luckily I was able to keep my mouth shut. But barely. And I had to spend almost the entirety of the morning arguing with my insurance company to attempt to get an appointment for the therapy that I so desperately fucking need.
Wednesday: The train was late AGAIN - this time the excuse was that the rails were frozen and they were "trying to clear the ice off of the tracks" - so how come the fucking Amtrak train that I bought a ticket for (at 15 extra dollars) was running just fine? Anyone have an answer for that one? (And I STILL got there late - but 5 minutes late, not 2 hours.) And I got singled out in the monthly staff meeting for simply asking a question about procedure. Great.
Thursday: Probably one of the worst days ever. A coworker had a snit with me over something that happened in the staff meeting that I got bawled out in the PREVIOUS day and gave me 'the silent treatment' like a sniveling 4 year old. Every asshole that walked through the door was pissy, loud and just fucking rude. I had an entire bottle of diet Pepsi spill into my good purse - ruining my checkbook, my wallet, the book I was reading, AND my MARC train pass for the month. And I got out of work 30 minutes late because of said assholes deciding that we didn't mean what we said when we said we closed at fucking 5pm for the holidays.
Friday (today): I got to work to find out that some very important papers were MISSING - which could have meant my job AND my ass. (Luckily I found out that I'd accidentally shredded them - still a bonehead move but at least one that saved my job, and my ass, heh.) An asshole that walked through the door today gave me shit about updating a photograph and claimed that "he'd remember my name and that I'd hear from him" - as if that's going to bother me, I'm not the one with the criminal record, dickcheese - and it was disgustingly busy all day today. Friday is usually dead. Not this Friday. Not at all.
So... I think I can easily say, thank fucking Christ this week is over. I've already informed everyone I know that my "favor bank" is fucking tapped out tonight. I am not doing one goddamned thing tonight that isn't for myself or doesn't benefit ME in some way. And if people find that selfish, oh fucking well, heh.
Yep. I'm cursing up a storm - it's obvious that I'm angry. But I'm going to kick back, enjoy some hot Chinese food, cuddle up on my sofa, and surf the 'net/do whatever I want to (which tonight is nothing at all, heh).
Christ. I fucking pray next week isn't going to be this bad. I can't take it.
03 October 2008
Bleh.
I’m on the train as I type this, trying to adjust to being a ‘busy, on-the-go commuter’ and all of that rot. Actually, what I’m doing is testing to see if I can haul this heavy-assed notebook around so that I CAN blog from the road and all of that, or if I need to buy something lighter, like that Dell Mini-9 I’ve had my eye on for a while. I want to make sure that it’s a worthy purchase, though, as wireless broadband costs a shitload of money and if I can’t use it… well, what’s the point, then?
I’m sitting at the Amtrak station now, but there’s very little I can use here as far as the ‘free’ (read: stolen) wifi goes. It’s obvious that I’ll have to purchase some kind of a plan. Especially since once we’re actually moving, it’ll be useless to try and connect to anything. Until I can work something out, this notebook is more or less a portable DVD player, heh. Which for today may not be a bad thing, as it’s Friday and therefore will be boring as shit at work.
Yesterday was insanity – there was a fire in the building, AND a gas leak. I ended up going home almost 3 hours early. But I’m hoping that there won’t be a fallout, as I… well, I didn’t exactly leave with permission, per se. I’ve been told that there’s nothing to worry about, but we’ll see – I’m prepared to take responsibility for my actions. I was told to leave – what am I supposed to do other than what I’m told, right?
I’m tired – that’s always the case on the train. Most of the time, I sleep in the mornings but that’s because I have little to do – you can only read so much. I don’t have an iPod – though I’ve been idly considering getting one, even if it’s just a little cheap model (though I’ve seen those and I suspect it would break within the space of a day or two. I’m notoriously hard on electronic equipment). In any case, I do have a few movies on here, a TV ep or two, so I’ll probably just snap on the headphones and watch those if I can’t luck out with a solid connection. I must admit that I do like having something to do on the train this morning – even if it’s just typing a “future” blog post into Word. Don’t I just feel important as shit, rofl.
My battery is limited here, and since I can’t get a decent wifi, I’m going to sign off for now, but I’ll soon be a “road warrior”. Ooooh. I’m just quivering with anticipation. (/sarcasm)
I’m sitting at the Amtrak station now, but there’s very little I can use here as far as the ‘free’ (read: stolen) wifi goes. It’s obvious that I’ll have to purchase some kind of a plan. Especially since once we’re actually moving, it’ll be useless to try and connect to anything. Until I can work something out, this notebook is more or less a portable DVD player, heh. Which for today may not be a bad thing, as it’s Friday and therefore will be boring as shit at work.
Yesterday was insanity – there was a fire in the building, AND a gas leak. I ended up going home almost 3 hours early. But I’m hoping that there won’t be a fallout, as I… well, I didn’t exactly leave with permission, per se. I’ve been told that there’s nothing to worry about, but we’ll see – I’m prepared to take responsibility for my actions. I was told to leave – what am I supposed to do other than what I’m told, right?
I’m tired – that’s always the case on the train. Most of the time, I sleep in the mornings but that’s because I have little to do – you can only read so much. I don’t have an iPod – though I’ve been idly considering getting one, even if it’s just a little cheap model (though I’ve seen those and I suspect it would break within the space of a day or two. I’m notoriously hard on electronic equipment). In any case, I do have a few movies on here, a TV ep or two, so I’ll probably just snap on the headphones and watch those if I can’t luck out with a solid connection. I must admit that I do like having something to do on the train this morning – even if it’s just typing a “future” blog post into Word. Don’t I just feel important as shit, rofl.
My battery is limited here, and since I can’t get a decent wifi, I’m going to sign off for now, but I’ll soon be a “road warrior”. Ooooh. I’m just quivering with anticipation. (/sarcasm)
24 September 2008
Warning - big fucking rant coming your way. Run now if you can't handle it.
It was a very, very rough day at work yesterday, and even now, a day later, I’m still not in a good mood. I’m really tired of being taken advantage of, in all respects. I work my ass off, I do everything that I’m supposed to do, and I get treated like shit – it never fails and it never ends.
No, it’s not so bad that I can’t deal with it, at least right now. But it makes me question myself – whether I’ve “grown” at all in the last year, or if I’m still stuck in psychological limbo where I still feel as if I’m worthless and need to be used as a punching bag. I’m trying so hard to work on myself and to treat myself better – but somehow I come up short still in that department.
I know what it is, you know – I just can’t “sit and do nothing” at work. I can’t do what these people do, sit there and watch movies and gossip while I’ve got a line going out the door. I just cannot do that. I work with the public – my first “allegiance”, if you will, is to them. I don’t care what Britney Spears is doing with her life – that’s her life, not mine. I don’t give a shit what Ciara’s wearing today, I don’t give a fuck if Lindsey’s gay, I don’t care if R. Kelly’s not guilty, I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK. The only people that I care about is me and mine, and if that’s selfish, then I’m the most selfish person alive. What do celebrities have to do with me? Uh, nothing?
And they shouldn’t be important to the people I work with, either, but that’s apparently their main focus.
The little time that I DO get to be on the ‘net – ONLY when things are slow – I read the news. That’s right, quelle horreur, I actually have some interest as to what’s going on in the world! I’m more interested in whether I’m going to lose my fucking money because of the goddamned banks’ idiocy than what Paris Hilton’s latest beef is. Hey, guess what – Paris Hilton’s going to eat no matter who she’s fighting with. There’s no guarantee that I will!
I guess that this is more of a rant about peoples’ priorities than whether or not I’m getting taken advantage of – although it’s directly related. It’s just that every time I believe that people can’t get more stupid and moronic, I’m proven wrong – every… fucking… time. I’ve been told to “look at the positive, I can’t think of everyone that way”. Well, I’ve got news for you – I don’t think of everyone that way. There are some people that can be excused for doing stupid things, because it isn’t a normal way of life for them! Those are the people that I can relate to, hang out with, like and love.
But when stupid is a normal way of life for someone… I’m sorry, but them? I can’t and WON’T excuse it. They don’t deserve excuses, what they need is a lobotomy.
No, it’s not so bad that I can’t deal with it, at least right now. But it makes me question myself – whether I’ve “grown” at all in the last year, or if I’m still stuck in psychological limbo where I still feel as if I’m worthless and need to be used as a punching bag. I’m trying so hard to work on myself and to treat myself better – but somehow I come up short still in that department.
I know what it is, you know – I just can’t “sit and do nothing” at work. I can’t do what these people do, sit there and watch movies and gossip while I’ve got a line going out the door. I just cannot do that. I work with the public – my first “allegiance”, if you will, is to them. I don’t care what Britney Spears is doing with her life – that’s her life, not mine. I don’t give a shit what Ciara’s wearing today, I don’t give a fuck if Lindsey’s gay, I don’t care if R. Kelly’s not guilty, I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK. The only people that I care about is me and mine, and if that’s selfish, then I’m the most selfish person alive. What do celebrities have to do with me? Uh, nothing?
And they shouldn’t be important to the people I work with, either, but that’s apparently their main focus.
The little time that I DO get to be on the ‘net – ONLY when things are slow – I read the news. That’s right, quelle horreur, I actually have some interest as to what’s going on in the world! I’m more interested in whether I’m going to lose my fucking money because of the goddamned banks’ idiocy than what Paris Hilton’s latest beef is. Hey, guess what – Paris Hilton’s going to eat no matter who she’s fighting with. There’s no guarantee that I will!
I guess that this is more of a rant about peoples’ priorities than whether or not I’m getting taken advantage of – although it’s directly related. It’s just that every time I believe that people can’t get more stupid and moronic, I’m proven wrong – every… fucking… time. I’ve been told to “look at the positive, I can’t think of everyone that way”. Well, I’ve got news for you – I don’t think of everyone that way. There are some people that can be excused for doing stupid things, because it isn’t a normal way of life for them! Those are the people that I can relate to, hang out with, like and love.
But when stupid is a normal way of life for someone… I’m sorry, but them? I can’t and WON’T excuse it. They don’t deserve excuses, what they need is a lobotomy.
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