I've woken up this morning feeling much better today. A good night's sleep, something that I haven't admittedly had in a while, cured me of whatever malaise I'd been feeling, and I'm now happily enjoying a hot cup of coffee and a vegetable-packed cheese omelet that I just made.
It's funny, but there's always been something a little special about Sunday morning for me. Maybe it's because I know that I can sleep in if I really want to - or that I can just kick back in my pajamas and enjoy a hot cup of coffee while watching the world go by my windows. It's being able to catch up on the news at my leisure, usually with a Sunday paper resting at my feet, or if I want to go worship a "god" of sorts, I can do that. (And... this may come as a shock to some of you, but I have seriously thought about going to a service or two recently. It's not because I've suddenly "found" religion - I'm too much of a cynic for that - but perhaps I DON'T know every side of the story, and I should make it my business to find out. A questioner, in my mind, leaves no stone unturned to find their truth, even if it might be distasteful to some.)
Anyhow, what it boils down to is that I feel 100 percent better this morning. Sure, it would be nice to have family and friends around me during this time of the year - but in the end, this is going to be what I make of it. Someday I might meet someone, or several someones, that I can consider "family" or "friends". But in the meantime, I'm calm with myself. I'm still learning, you see, to be okay with my own company. And I think I'm doing better with that right now than I ever have previously. For the most part, I've been somewhat contented. I'm healing. I can feel it.
My debt is nearly completely paid off. I have a little short of a thousand dollars left, but that'll be nothing to take care of, considering that I dumped nearly ten grand off of the cards. I estimate that everything will be finally paid completely off by February, March at the very latest, if I keep to my original goal, which I intend to do. I still have my massive mortgage, of course, and my student loans - but they consider that "good debt". That's fine. I can live with that. I have a plan to go full-steam ahead on the mortgage once everything is paid off and I have what I need to have - I don't really want to be almost 70 years old before I can get this house paid up. Ditto with the student loans.
One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't get started on this shit sooner - like right out of high school. I guess that I was too immature, as most 18 year olds tend to be, to consider these things, and it doesn't help that I've been suffering from undiagnosed depression all that time, either. But there's no point in looking back and regretting things, because it's a waste of energy and it does nothing to fix the situation you're in now, you know what I'm saying?
Apparently, Sunday is a day to be contemplative, too. :)
Therapy today. I'm in need of a session, since I missed last week due to the exams and studying, bleh blah. I did get a B in the biology course. The web design course, unknown, though I know I did pass it. I just tried to run my degree progress report through the school's website, but they're making upgrades to it and it won't be available until tonight. Bluh. Oh, well. But in any case, I did pass my other two courses, so that's all right.
So now I'm rambling, heh. I think I should get more coffee at this point and sign off, but... yeah, I think I'm feeling better.
Pretty sure, anyway.
Showing posts with label exams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exams. Show all posts
19 December 2010
12 December 2010
Starting to wind down.
The end of the year is fast approaching, and I've actually been ruminating over my annual "how did I do this year" post a bit early. Oh, I'm not going to do it right now, obviously. But I find it striking that I'm actually thinking about it this soon. I suspect that I'm very eager to "shut the books", if you will, and get on with this business of living for myself in '11. Some might say that this is a positive thing, my looking ahead, and I tend to concur that it is. I'm definitely in a much better place than I have been in some time.
My tenure with urine is about to come to an end, starting on January 3rd. All of the female testers will move to another unit - however, I shall not be going with them, at least that's what I'm hearing. The plan is that I shall stay at my current unit and do strictly computer work. To be honest, I'm not at all sorry about it. I've dealt with enough piss to fill a small lake over the years, and there are times where the women are so much more worse than the men, both in attitude and in personal hygiene. It's not all going to be peaches and cream, though: I still have to deal with the males while on the computer, and they tend to be nasty as well, but I won't have to deal with their body fluids - I can't ask for more than that. I'm hoping and praying that these next two weeks will go speedily.
The semester, for me, is over. I have exams this upcoming Wednesday. As usual, I'm not really feeling anxiety over them, though to be honest I haven't studied. I'm really weird about classes - I'll agonize over the actual work, but when it comes to taking tests, I don't feel much nervousness. I guess that's because I figure that I'll either know the material by then, or I won't. Not much to beat myself up over, I suppose. Anyhow, I'm profoundly relieved, because this past semester was difficult in a lot of respects. I have about six months off now, though, or at least until May, so I could definitely use the rest. I plan on getting this house together now that I've received my tax credit, spend a little time getting my life back together again.
I've decided not to go to New York for the new year, at least not this time - the reason being that I made my decision a little too late. I really need time to plan this out, not just go on the spur of the moment - especially with the terrorism threat level being so high right now. There's going to be more security up there than Fort Knox, and I'm not prepared to deal with it. I was thinking about going up on the night train, but from what I hear, Times Square is full by 4pm, and I'm not prepared to stand out in the freezing cold for 8 hours without getting things together. So I'm going to skip it this time, maybe I'll go next year. Or maybe for Thanksgiving, as I've always wanted to see the Macy's parade in person. I'll have to actually remember to mark it down, though, as I tend to forget until the holidays roll around again. Then I sit on my sofa that morning and say to myself, "Y'know, I think I'll do this... if I can remember." Hah. My mind's like a sieve, bleh.
I do plan on traveling a little more next year, even if it is just on the spur of the moment. Hop a train to New York and go shopping for the day, etc. I really need to start doing these things!
I've lost 4.2 pounds. I know, not a huge deal, but it is for me. I'm actively trying to lose weight now - that's yet another of my goals for '11. I'm not going to call these things "resolutions", because the minute I do that, I know it'll go by the wayside, and this is just too important to me, enough so that I'm honestly trying to do something about it instead of talking about it. Maybe I'll report on this week by week - that way I'll have some kind of a record and some kind of accountability to myself. Though I'm not going to put my starting weight. Oh, hell, no. Maybe if I ever get to where I want to be, I'll share that with you all so that your mouths will drop and you'll go "ZOMG we're so proud of you". Wouldn't that be something? :p
I'm a talkative soul this morning, but I have to run. I'm heading to Lowe's today to pick up some necessities for the house, like a ladder, a snow shovel, shit I'm going to need this winter. Just realized that if there's a blizzard this year, I have to clean off the entire corner. Sucks to be me. Meh.
Well, not really. :D
Peace, out.
My tenure with urine is about to come to an end, starting on January 3rd. All of the female testers will move to another unit - however, I shall not be going with them, at least that's what I'm hearing. The plan is that I shall stay at my current unit and do strictly computer work. To be honest, I'm not at all sorry about it. I've dealt with enough piss to fill a small lake over the years, and there are times where the women are so much more worse than the men, both in attitude and in personal hygiene. It's not all going to be peaches and cream, though: I still have to deal with the males while on the computer, and they tend to be nasty as well, but I won't have to deal with their body fluids - I can't ask for more than that. I'm hoping and praying that these next two weeks will go speedily.
The semester, for me, is over. I have exams this upcoming Wednesday. As usual, I'm not really feeling anxiety over them, though to be honest I haven't studied. I'm really weird about classes - I'll agonize over the actual work, but when it comes to taking tests, I don't feel much nervousness. I guess that's because I figure that I'll either know the material by then, or I won't. Not much to beat myself up over, I suppose. Anyhow, I'm profoundly relieved, because this past semester was difficult in a lot of respects. I have about six months off now, though, or at least until May, so I could definitely use the rest. I plan on getting this house together now that I've received my tax credit, spend a little time getting my life back together again.
I've decided not to go to New York for the new year, at least not this time - the reason being that I made my decision a little too late. I really need time to plan this out, not just go on the spur of the moment - especially with the terrorism threat level being so high right now. There's going to be more security up there than Fort Knox, and I'm not prepared to deal with it. I was thinking about going up on the night train, but from what I hear, Times Square is full by 4pm, and I'm not prepared to stand out in the freezing cold for 8 hours without getting things together. So I'm going to skip it this time, maybe I'll go next year. Or maybe for Thanksgiving, as I've always wanted to see the Macy's parade in person. I'll have to actually remember to mark it down, though, as I tend to forget until the holidays roll around again. Then I sit on my sofa that morning and say to myself, "Y'know, I think I'll do this... if I can remember." Hah. My mind's like a sieve, bleh.
I do plan on traveling a little more next year, even if it is just on the spur of the moment. Hop a train to New York and go shopping for the day, etc. I really need to start doing these things!
I've lost 4.2 pounds. I know, not a huge deal, but it is for me. I'm actively trying to lose weight now - that's yet another of my goals for '11. I'm not going to call these things "resolutions", because the minute I do that, I know it'll go by the wayside, and this is just too important to me, enough so that I'm honestly trying to do something about it instead of talking about it. Maybe I'll report on this week by week - that way I'll have some kind of a record and some kind of accountability to myself. Though I'm not going to put my starting weight. Oh, hell, no. Maybe if I ever get to where I want to be, I'll share that with you all so that your mouths will drop and you'll go "ZOMG we're so proud of you". Wouldn't that be something? :p
I'm a talkative soul this morning, but I have to run. I'm heading to Lowe's today to pick up some necessities for the house, like a ladder, a snow shovel, shit I'm going to need this winter. Just realized that if there's a blizzard this year, I have to clean off the entire corner. Sucks to be me. Meh.
Well, not really. :D
Peace, out.
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