I've woken up this morning feeling much better today. A good night's sleep, something that I haven't admittedly had in a while, cured me of whatever malaise I'd been feeling, and I'm now happily enjoying a hot cup of coffee and a vegetable-packed cheese omelet that I just made.
It's funny, but there's always been something a little special about Sunday morning for me. Maybe it's because I know that I can sleep in if I really want to - or that I can just kick back in my pajamas and enjoy a hot cup of coffee while watching the world go by my windows. It's being able to catch up on the news at my leisure, usually with a Sunday paper resting at my feet, or if I want to go worship a "god" of sorts, I can do that. (And... this may come as a shock to some of you, but I have seriously thought about going to a service or two recently. It's not because I've suddenly "found" religion - I'm too much of a cynic for that - but perhaps I DON'T know every side of the story, and I should make it my business to find out. A questioner, in my mind, leaves no stone unturned to find their truth, even if it might be distasteful to some.)
Anyhow, what it boils down to is that I feel 100 percent better this morning. Sure, it would be nice to have family and friends around me during this time of the year - but in the end, this is going to be what I make of it. Someday I might meet someone, or several someones, that I can consider "family" or "friends". But in the meantime, I'm calm with myself. I'm still learning, you see, to be okay with my own company. And I think I'm doing better with that right now than I ever have previously. For the most part, I've been somewhat contented. I'm healing. I can feel it.
My debt is nearly completely paid off. I have a little short of a thousand dollars left, but that'll be nothing to take care of, considering that I dumped nearly ten grand off of the cards. I estimate that everything will be finally paid completely off by February, March at the very latest, if I keep to my original goal, which I intend to do. I still have my massive mortgage, of course, and my student loans - but they consider that "good debt". That's fine. I can live with that. I have a plan to go full-steam ahead on the mortgage once everything is paid off and I have what I need to have - I don't really want to be almost 70 years old before I can get this house paid up. Ditto with the student loans.
One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't get started on this shit sooner - like right out of high school. I guess that I was too immature, as most 18 year olds tend to be, to consider these things, and it doesn't help that I've been suffering from undiagnosed depression all that time, either. But there's no point in looking back and regretting things, because it's a waste of energy and it does nothing to fix the situation you're in now, you know what I'm saying?
Apparently, Sunday is a day to be contemplative, too. :)
Therapy today. I'm in need of a session, since I missed last week due to the exams and studying, bleh blah. I did get a B in the biology course. The web design course, unknown, though I know I did pass it. I just tried to run my degree progress report through the school's website, but they're making upgrades to it and it won't be available until tonight. Bluh. Oh, well. But in any case, I did pass my other two courses, so that's all right.
So now I'm rambling, heh. I think I should get more coffee at this point and sign off, but... yeah, I think I'm feeling better.
Pretty sure, anyway.
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