Obama? Oh-shutup! And other ramblings.

I woke up this morning to the sound of a commercial on the tube advertising - I kid you not - "silver dollars commemorating the election of President Barack Obama". Does anyone actually grasp the fact that the man isn't even president yet? Trust me, I'm the first one to tell you that I want Bush gone forever, banished to the pits of hell that he came from, but this overwhelming love affair with the media and all of this is going to backfire on Obama so badly, I can see it coming. No one seems to get the fact that he's made a fuck of a lot of promises that I seriously wonder if he can even fulfill.

Part of the post that I had prewritten the other night had been about the people at work and their reactions to Obama being elected, which was overwhelmingly... well, I'm sure you can imagine what it was. The day after the election was very hard for me - I'm a white woman working in a black city, more or less involved with policing people involved in drug-related crime. I'll paraphrase some of what I wrote so that you'll understand what I'm talking about...

"I'm already hearing the people at work referring to it as 'The Black House'. For some reason that offends me very deeply. It's not that I object to the term itself, because black people have the absolute right to feel very proud of this accomplishment - it is history-making and in the end, vindication. But those same people are forgetting that a lot of white people - 49% of white people, to be exact - voted for Obama, too. If it weren't for all of us coming together - black, white, old, young, Obama wouldn't be in office to begin with. Don't all of us count? I'm seriously starting to wonder."

Things have 'calmed down' at work since I wrote that - people aren't yelling "OH-BAH-MAH" at the tops of their lungs anymore, no one's saying 'The Black House' anymore - I think it's sunk in that Obama hasn't made drugs legal and therefore they're going to report next Thursday just like always, heh.

Anyway, on to other topics. I'm feeling a little better this morning, which is a good thing, but then I've taken my meds, heh. I've started to make some changes to the blog again as of late - I'm thinking about packing up shop and going over to Wordpress. Not because I don't like Blogger, mind, I do - but the blog itself has turned into something that I think I'd like to have a little more control over. The theme is nice... but it's kind of, I don't know, restrictive. I have HTML skills, as 'limited' as they might be, and I'd like to maybe work on the backgrounds and design for myself. I've taken off the Obama support sign now that the election's over, I've added a couple of other things. I'd like to make this look a little better, that's all. Any ideas from the masses? (Rest assured, this is the one time I'm going to ask for help, so if you have opinions, state 'em now, heh.)

I've noticed that a lot of folks are hitting this blog from far-off places - France, Spain, Germany. Wilkommen, hola, bonjour and all of that. Don't be afraid to say anything here, folks, please do comment if you have comments. I enjoy hearing feedback from people, whether good or not. 'course, if it's bad, I'll be likely to stalk your blog and say something nasty back, heh, but either way, take the risk. I'm not hard to get along with.

(clapping hands over my friends' mouths to keep them from saying anything, heh)

'kay, so I'm going to leave you now with a lovely clip from Soul Train - a classic ST line from 1978. Hard to believe this was thirty years ago!!!! The track is Roy Ayers' "Freaky Deaky" - fucking hot, hot, hot!

Enjoy!

On the mend.

I haven't been around as much as I would have liked for the past few days, and that's because... for some reason I've had a sort of physical (and mental, too, if I want to be honest with myself) "mini-breakdown". I took what they call "a mental health day" off of work today because I was in so much pain when I woke up this morning - head pounding, body aching all over, just exhausted. And I ended up sleeping nearly all day today. I've missed my medication a few times this week - I know, bad Carrie, I've been yelled at for it already - so if that's happening, I know it's bad. Add in the unbelievably hot weather here as of late - 75 degrees in November? Fuck that - meh. You get the idea.

I want to go home. I'm done with this cat-sitting crap, and I intend on telling my mother that when she gets home. If my brother wants to see her, he can come up here. I'm tired of adjusting my schedule and trying to be "the perfect daughter", blah blah. Especially when it's always revolved around making my brother happy, anyway. It's not that I don't love the cat - I do. She's probably the only thing that's made this whole week and half worthwhile so far. But I miss my apartment, my schedule, the comfortable routine that I had going, etc. Anyone who knows me knows that routine is what I need to make my life at least somewhat stable - God knows I haven't had any kind of stability in my life.

Quick news flash - Obama won. As if you didn't know by now, heh. :p I had a whole blog post prewritten about that and I was going to post it, but... it's sort of controversial and I've thought better of it now. Though I still might, I don't know, it depends.

Mainly what I'm feeling like right now is crap, or "shite" as my overseas friends like to put it. I hope that this doesn't last, because it'll be the second weekend in a row that I've felt ill. :(

Sigh.

I won't go on too long about the election...

...simply because I think everyone else in the States who runs a blog is also talking about it, and I'm not one to "follow the crowd", haha. I'll just say that Sarah Palin can fuck on off back to Alaska, and as far as I'm concerned, she can go one step further and jump into the Bering Strait, as well.

Long, exhausting day today at work. It seems that the excitement of the election brought even more people out to test than usual, so now my feet are killing me and my head's hurting a bit. I've never seen people so pumped up about politics in my life - I wonder why I can't get more excited about it. Sometimes I think to myself that maybe things will change for the better, that maybe the world isn't doomed... and then I get to thinking that it'll all be the same bullshit we've lived with before. After all, how many people have promised us change... only to do the same stupid shit over and over again? I lost my faith a long time ago that people would do what they promised they would - in all respects, whether it's a federal election or my personal life. Perhaps I'm just jaded, who knows. But hopefully we'll avoid riots, heh - at least that's how it's looking right now at 11pm on the East Coast. I'll have more to say when we know the outcome. I'm not staying up tonight to see it, I know that, partially because I've had a long-assed day and I'm tired, but also because I don't want to be on pins and needles waiting for the next state to 'call' or whatever. It's nerve-racking enough knowing that McCain and the Evil Frigid Bitch From Hell-Otherwise-Known-As-Wasilla-Alaska with her fucked-up 50's beehive hair and her retarded kids (no offense to those with Down's Syndrome, because I know that doesn't affect intelligence - but naming your kids 'Track' and 'Trig' isn't exactly the pinnacle of sentience, either) even has a chance of winning this shit. I'm serious.

Better to watch dumb criminals on TruTV smashing into convenience stores with their cars tonight, methinks. It's sort of like watching Sarah Palin give a speech, actually. It just happens to be more entertaining. And less detrimental to your mental health. (Thanks, Luke, I have to give you credit for that last one, darling, it's so the truth, heh.)

We shall see what happens tomorrow!

Thanks, Columbus, for giving me a day off. :p

I could care less about celebrating some Spanish guy sailing across the world to find this place - as far as I'm concerned, I would have been just as happy eating cold potatoes and moaning the British in the mother country - but at least I don't have to work today, teehee.

Actually, I'm grateful for my job, no matter how much I bitch. At least I have one. The economy's going down the proverbial toilet faster than you can say, "Bush is a dickhead." But it'll reverse - it always does. Once we get Obam - er, someone sane - in office, it'll start getting better, though I've always noticed that the Ds seem to be the ones that clean up the Rs' messes, heh. We shall see come November 4th.

I'm a little worried about what'll happen on the 4th, to be honest. If Obama loses... well. I've been hearing disjointed mumblings from the clientele at work about possible... riots. And to be honest, I couldn't blame them - but as a white woman and a minority working in a very tough environment in downtown D.C.... well. I have to look out for my welfare. I'm really scared as to what'll happen. Luckily I'm of the mind that he'll win this election. But... it still crosses my mind now and then.

I've not been feeling too well emotionally recently - I had written a long explanation of why in this post, but I've decided that it really doesn't matter why. I'm not sad or even depressed - it's bordering between anger and coldness, a truly frightening emotional landscape, if you know me well.

What's scaring me is that I'm starting to like it.

Sigh.

Ah, finally Verizon has their shit together.

After what's amounted to an agonizing wait, Verizon's finally installed my DSL - I'm still waiting on the FiOS service, but it should be installed on the 19th. And then I can finally make a stab at getting my life back to 'normal', hah, not that it ever was in the first place!

Things have been hellishly busy ever since I got the gubmint job - I will say without revealing too much that it's interesting, and for the most part I enjoy it. I get quite a bit of support there, which is always important. And I feel that I mostly have my illness under control (my MDD, that is) - there are still a few flareups where I feel rotten... but if that's all I have to deal with, then so be it, and I'll be grateful that I'm better. I'm still going to see a therapist in D.C. in the mornings - I'm in the process of setting that up now for once a week - but so far it's under control. Thank Christ for Buspirone. I think a lot of people are saying that right now.

For those of you with very good powers of observation, I've finally decided once and for all about this upcoming election - and just the fact that John McCain, whom I previously didn't have a lot of feeling about, chose Sarah Palin as his VP was more than enough to sway me. He couldn't have done worse, in my view. She is such a fucking reactionary - anti-abortion, pro-gun, a self-described "soccer mom" - oh yeah, this is exactly who I fucking want to control the goddamned Army if we head for World War III! Uh... fucking no, heh.

Besides... could you vote for someone who names their kids "Track" and "Trig"? Fucking hell.. seriously... could you?

I don't honestly think that the Obama/Biden ticket is really any better... but at least it's more in line with my views on life and how the country should be run. A lot of people that I know also agree with me. This is going to be one hard-assed fight come November, I can tell you that much. I've got to get out there and vote, even one vote might turn this tide. And I don't know about anyone else, but I can't stand the thought of 4 more years of conservative, backward, reactionary Republican ethics and views. I just can't.

So... go on with your bad self, Obama, and kick some old white Republican ass. :D