Random thoughts from a cracked mind.

So I was on Facebook a couple of weeks ago (isn't it awful how such things just take over your social life, ugh) and saw an old high school acquaintance that had an account, so I happily clicked the 'add' button, thoroughly expecting her to add me, to want to catch up, etc.

Imagine my shock when that didn't happen. Actually, she outright ignored me. How do I know this? It's been a couple of weeks, she's been on Facebook since, and talking up a storm with mutual friends that have added me... so you can come to only one conclusion, don't you think?

I'll admit that at first, I was really hurt. It's been nearly 20 years since I've seen this person, and I'll admit that we weren't buddy-buddy then... but you'd think after 20 years that you'd be over whatever preconceived notions you might have about a person. And I'll admit that for a brief moment, I wanted to really be childish and air my grievances over Facebook airwaves - but then I realized it's petty. Not to mention a candidate for Passive-Aggressive Notes, heh. So I stopped and thought about it, and in retrospect, I'm glad I did.

I figure it this way - if this, uh, person is carrying some sort of grudge (though for what, fuck if I know) for this long... is this someone I really want to know in the first place? I've been working hard to eliminate toxic people from my life... and wouldn't she be one of them in this case? There are people on Facebook that I once knew... that I choose not to add, because they brought me nothing but pain, heartache, toxicity, upheaval. There's no point in adding more, even if it is someone that I once knew, even briefly. I have no need or desire to add people just for the sake of adding them - at least with everyone on my list, I can honestly say they're either good friends or I know them in person. Most people with 300, 400, 500 'friends' can't say that.

So, thank you, acquaintance-who-shall-remain-unnamed that didn't add me on Facebook. I'm actually happy that you didn't, now that I think about it. You see, this allows me to be the better person of the two of us. This allows me to acknowledge the fact that I'm not the person that I was 20 years ago, that I reached out to you, and you were immature enough to not accept that friendship. For all of that... I'll say thank you to any future people that don't add me, that'll go for you all as well. It just makes me look better than you, and since I already am better than you, your actions confirm it. Thanks!

P.S. I'm not too good to say this - your baby is probably the ugliest thing I've ever seen. Misshapen head, misshapen face. Ugh. For the love of Christ, keep that thing inside your house. I'm serious.

Ah, finally Verizon has their shit together.

After what's amounted to an agonizing wait, Verizon's finally installed my DSL - I'm still waiting on the FiOS service, but it should be installed on the 19th. And then I can finally make a stab at getting my life back to 'normal', hah, not that it ever was in the first place!

Things have been hellishly busy ever since I got the gubmint job - I will say without revealing too much that it's interesting, and for the most part I enjoy it. I get quite a bit of support there, which is always important. And I feel that I mostly have my illness under control (my MDD, that is) - there are still a few flareups where I feel rotten... but if that's all I have to deal with, then so be it, and I'll be grateful that I'm better. I'm still going to see a therapist in D.C. in the mornings - I'm in the process of setting that up now for once a week - but so far it's under control. Thank Christ for Buspirone. I think a lot of people are saying that right now.

For those of you with very good powers of observation, I've finally decided once and for all about this upcoming election - and just the fact that John McCain, whom I previously didn't have a lot of feeling about, chose Sarah Palin as his VP was more than enough to sway me. He couldn't have done worse, in my view. She is such a fucking reactionary - anti-abortion, pro-gun, a self-described "soccer mom" - oh yeah, this is exactly who I fucking want to control the goddamned Army if we head for World War III! Uh... fucking no, heh.

Besides... could you vote for someone who names their kids "Track" and "Trig"? Fucking hell.. seriously... could you?

I don't honestly think that the Obama/Biden ticket is really any better... but at least it's more in line with my views on life and how the country should be run. A lot of people that I know also agree with me. This is going to be one hard-assed fight come November, I can tell you that much. I've got to get out there and vote, even one vote might turn this tide. And I don't know about anyone else, but I can't stand the thought of 4 more years of conservative, backward, reactionary Republican ethics and views. I just can't.

So... go on with your bad self, Obama, and kick some old white Republican ass. :D