This past week has been absolutely horrendous. In the course of just 7 days, I've been feeling like utter crap, I've gained 3 pounds (putting me nearly back to the start of the year - when is this shit ever going to get better, damn it?), I've been harassed at work (I hesitate to say sexual harassment, but in truth that's exactly what it falls under) and now face the possibility of making a formal complaint, my mortgage went up by 40 dollars a month, I've lost my state tax refund because of the escrow shortage, and my cat's been puking up hairballs all over the house. I don't know if she's sick - she doesn't seem to be - but I'm a little concerned.
Fuck. Could this week have been any worse?
What absolutely amazes me is that for the most part, I've held it together and not crumbled to pieces. I keep reminding myself that things could be, and have been, a lot worse. Still, I didn't appreciate everything raining down on my head all at once, you know?
I was supposed to clean this weekend, but after all of this bullshit, I've pretty much boiled it down to "fuck this, I'll do what I like", heh. I am so tired, and it just seems that every bit of human contact that I've had recently has been nothing but a source of irritation. Though maybe it's nothing except paranoia, I just get this overwhelming sense that everything is either going wrong or is about to.
I look around and I see all of these things that I either want to do or, worse, need to be done... and I can't seem to find any enthusiasm or will to do any of it. It's like, what's the point?
Even my therapy recently hasn't much helped this sense of impending doom.
Maybe I'm just going through a bad patch right now, I don't know, but I wish it would stop.
Okay, bitching over. :p /complaint
1 comment:
it's just a thing. i know i had that kind of week too with Dylan being colicky, crying like crazy, my lil Tink coughing up nasty hairballs, and the dog deciding to piss all over the house when i left for doc appts, and all this while the hubby was out of town in Cali for two days. i just had a good cry and dealt with it. you're getting better though... seriously, sometimes i read this, and i think.. this is a whole new Carrie!!
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