Two steps forward... one step back.

I've finally got a few minutes to write - that's how crazy it's been. Huge changes are in the works down at the lab, things that will impact the entire agency, and I've been smack in the middle of it all trying to work things out so that everyone will benefit (though all I'm going to end up getting out of the deal is more headaches from the addicts and a sore back). I can't really go into it at the moment, as I'm... well, not really supposed to know about the details (which translates to, I've been taken into confidence, so I can't talk about it). But all will be revealed by some time next month, so I'll definitely go into it by then.

The depression seems to have abated, or at least not flared up to any huge degree. I did have a moment earlier today where I just lost my temper - I have a huge amount of homework to finish this weekend (two labs and trying to set up an FTP account for my web design class, the latter being an exercise in futility because the instructions aren't correct and the instructor is zero help... and the former just being insanely work-intensive at a time where I have too much going on already). Anyhow, I admit to giving in to my frustration and just bursting into tears (though short-lived). It was refreshingly normal, actually. Perhaps I AM getting better!

I'll be able to catch up, so I'm not incredibly worried (at the moment). It just all FEELS as if it's crashing down onto my shoulders, ugh. I've caught a cold as well last week, so that doesn't help things.

I'm starting to learn that there's never really a time where things settle down so that one has no worries - it's just a matter of what degree something is going to worry you, I suppose.

Really, I can't complain too much right now. I'm alive, the depression has more or less taken a back seat, I have a roof over my head and food to eat, I'm following through with my no-soda determination (though this second week has been hard, I won't lie), I have a job. I'm okay. Reasonably content. Still, I can't help but feel that something's around the corner....

Suspicion, that's all. Just suspicion.

On a different note... I don't like reality television - therefore I don't like American Idol. I've never watched even a single episode of it, ever. But I HAVE heard the "efforts" of some of the, uh, winners of this show. The only one that I think has any talent whatsoever MAY (and I emphasize may) be Kelly Clarkson.

I heard this on one of my iPhone apps the other day. I actually rather like it.



Until next time...