Some stuff going on, not much noteworthy...

There's a lot of mess going on down at work right now, mainly with Useless (the other one that I've been wanting to get rid of for some time now). I think she's going to be fired. And trust me, that's a huge reason to cheer, as I've been wanting her gone for months now... but at the same time I'm ambivalent about it, because it means a good deal of the work is going to fall on my shoulders. But... hasn't it been anyway?

At least now they'll have a chance to find someone that actually wants to work.

Otherwise, all is somewhat calm in casa Ray. I had a really bad moment this week when I didn't think I was going to make my doctor's appointment tomorrow because of a schedule conflict at work, but in the end I prevailed. Put it this way - if they can give someone a week off because they were trapped in an elevator for 20 minutes, they can damned well give me an appointment to get the medicine that I desperately need in order to function.

(Yes, this is a true story. Useless has taken the entire week off because she was trapped in an elevator for 20 minutes on Monday. I swear to God, you just can't make some things up. It's not for this reason that I think she's going to be fired, but it sure doesn't help her case, now does it.)

Things have calmed down, and I feel a little better, though I'm going to talk to the doctor about maybe either adjusting my meds or getting something different. The mood swings continue, some very badly. They're just not coming as frequently. Also, the social anxiety is getting positively ridiculous. I don't even want to go out and see friends that I already have, never mind make new ones.

I want you all, the few of you that have continued to stick around, to know this, and it's important, please read it - my reticence and pulling away from you is NOT YOUR FAULT. It's my disorder right now, that's the only thing I can blame it on. I want to hang out, talk to you, have fun with you - it's my depression and anxiety that is the reason why I'm avoiding you right now. It is NOTHING you have done. If I seem like I have nothing to say right now, or that I'm hiding, or that I'm not talking to you, etc., it's me. Please continue to bear with me as you have been, and I promise that I'll work on fixing these issues. I want to be social with you all. I really do. There's nothing I want more.

Pretty tired now, so I'm going to hit the sack, but I'll write more this weekend. Thanks for bearing with me so far, if you're still around. You guys mean the world to me, and more.

<3