With that said, it's been crazy around here recently - both literally and figuratively. I ran out of one of my medicines over the weekend (luckily, not the Paxil - if I'd tried to go without that one I'd have been a basket case in the space of a few hours) and I was very, very nervous about how things were going to go - so I threw all of my concentration on getting through the week with only three buspirone pills, heh. How'd I do?
Well... easily Monday was the worst day of the lot, and naturally it was a day that I decided to try and go without one - bad mistake, meh. The rest of the week hasn't been horrible, though I'll be very glad when I'm back on track. I see the doctor tomorrow, both psych and therapist, and I'm hoping that they'll be able to take this in hand and start to help me. It was a difficult decision to go back to Sheppard Pratt - especially after being locked up there last year - but they do know what they're doing, and I already have a case history there, so... why not, right? It makes sense.
I'm ready, very ready, to get better - to make my mental health the best that it can be now, after all I've been through. I'm nearly 37 years old. I'm tired. I want to live my life the way I want to, with no regrets and no anxiety over decisions that I make - is it right or not, am I doing the right thing or not, etc. I want stability, happiness, peace.
And I'll do whatever I must to achieve that goal. I'm ready for it.
On an unrelated note, enjoy this flashback from 1982. Gah, I can't believe I was only 10 when this came out. -_- This track is from one of my favorite albums, "Original Musiquarium I". Sing it, Steeeeveh. :D Chocolate chippin' kisses full of love, indeed.
1 comment:
Making your mental health the best it can be has to be your first priority (other than loving your kitty!) - everything else builds on that. I'm proud of you for going back to Pratt, but don't think about it as a bad place where you were "locked up" - think of it as a place you went b/c you needed a break, help and some well-deserved rest.
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