I've been horrendously busy, and I'm already experiencing consequences for it. I haven't seen my therapist for nearly three weeks now - not good. My determination to eat better and get myself into better physical shape has already been blown to bits, mainly because I'm too busy to even eat properly. I come home, have a quick sandwich, and that's literally IT for the entire day. I'm still eating the wrong fucking things. I need to get it together, what the hell is the matter with me?
I just have no time for anything anymore. I get up, I'm out the door in half an hour, I travel to work, I work my ass off, I get back on the train and come home, I finally sit down and eat something, but then I have to pay bills or do laundry or other household chores, plus take care of my cat (not that she requires much, but you know what I mean)... and I have to squeeze all of that into 2 hours before I go to bed and start the entire cycle over again.
I'm frustrated. I have no sort of life, my entire life is work-based, and I'm so exhausted at the end of the day that I can barely hold my head up. I WANT to exercise and go bike-riding or lift weights, I want to cook healthy meals, but how the fuck can I carve out any time when I either work or travel to and from work over 15 hours a day? :(
I need some kind of a plan. I just don't know how to even get started, and I'm scared to ask for help because I don't want people to think that I'm just too fucking scatterbrained to even control what goes on in my own life, you know?
Meh. This is a personal problem that obviously needs to be worked on. I desperately need to see my therapist soon - I do not feel grounded at all right now.
One positive thing today - I did join a meetup group for social anxiety. Seems kind of ironic that I'd join a social group for ... well, people with social problems, haha. But this could be what I need as far as breaking out of this loneliness and meeting new people. We'll see.
I just wish I could do better than this as far as getting healthy. I'm so sad today. :(
Sigh.
1 comment:
just take it one day at a time. i know from talking with different women, all have urged "busy" ppl to do a workout first thing in the morning before anything else. i don't know how they do it, but then again, that's the type of stuff i did back in high school. being at the pool or in the weight room at 5am and then it was done for the day. eating right might just be sitting down for an hour or two on a weekend and planning out, cutting, bagging, sorting what you'll have during the week. it can seem overwhelming, but i know for me, when i do it right after grocery shopping, it just seems like part of the shopping and not an extra chore.
just a few ideas... not that it will work for ya, but just what other workaholics told this workaholic back when i was working 7 days, 3 jobs.
that social group thing is humerously ironic... love it. hopefully you'll find time to see your therapist too. best of luck darlin!
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