Just a few things on my mind, most of them good.

As always, most of the "good things" that happen to me may not really seem like much - but to me, it's very significant. :D

There was a time where I was very, very paranoid. I seriously thought that people were talking bad things about me behind my back, and when people removed me from "friend lists" or did something that left me out of their circle - whether deliberate or not - I became, in a word, hysterical. Because of that paranoia, you see. That was a big part of the depression for me, and it damaged much more than I can ever relate. Anyhow, getting back to the original train of thought... I went on a website today that I hadn't been to in a while, and noticed that a particular person wasn't on my friends list there anymore.

I know - bigfuckingdeal, right? Only back then, it would have been. I would have dissolved into tears when I saw that name missing from the list. Yes, I admit it - I was that aware of what was happening on social and other networks, that I'd notice that one person had removed me, and I would seriously take that as a personal affront. That's why Facebook, at first, was so difficult for me, because I'd notice that people I'd gotten into contact with would drop me for whatever reason they had, and - boom - instant paranoia.

Today? At first I felt that old, wild paranoia trying to come up - and trying. And trying. But it just... wasn't there. I stared at that screen and I just thought to myself, "Oh, well. Whatever." Within five minutes, I'd just shrugged it off. Within fifteen minutes, I wasn't even thinking any more about it. I'm only thinking about it right now because I marvel at how far I've come since those days, even if it's just a short amount of time.

This, to me, is proof positive that if I'm not recovered from my depression, I am well on the way toward handling it, toward dealing with it, toward living with it. I am healing. I am stepping forward into a new world, a new existence... a new life.

I am learning, bit by bit, to love myself.

I received some items that I'd ordered today - nothing more than sheets and towels from Macy's - but they came in the biggest box I'd ever seen, so after unpacking the goods, I put all of the boxes in the Macy's box for recycling. Then I looked around and realized that nearly all of the boxes in the living room are gone. The house is beginning to look like a home, instead of my possessions just scattered about. And I look around in this house of mine, with my things around me, and I just feel warm inside. This is my house, my things, my life. No one will ever tell me what to do in these four walls. What it does for my self-esteem, you cannot imagine.

Like I said, these are little things to most, but large-scale to me.

I am healing! :D