I feel like utter shit - apparently this cold/virus/whatever-the-fuck-it-is has decided that it's not quite done with me, and I've been hacking away like a TB patient all afternoon. I'm hoping that it doesn't mean more time off of work, as I can't afford it. Then again, last week was supremely sucky, so... it could be just that, I don't know.
This upcoming week isn't going to be any better, as I've been sentenced to "new employee training" (never mind that I was hired nearly 4 months ago - you all figure it out, because I can't) and I'm stuck down in D.C. from 8:30 in the morning until 7pm - all week long. The only consolation and upside to all of this is that I'm getting adequate compensation - which I'd better, seeing that I'm nearly killing myself to make a living here. Oddly, I sort of don't mind though, seeing that there's really nothing else going at the moment. Despite my complaining, I don't feel like I've much else at the present, so why not throw myself into this and make the best of it.
My "Stupid Moment of the Week" - I walked right into my bookshelf in my living room and hit my foot so badly that I'd thought I'd broken a toe. I swear that I sounded like a baby, I was whining so much about the pain, ugh. What really frosts my ass is that I was going to soak my foot in hot water for a few minutes to try and get the pain to stop, but the minute I opened the shower curtain to start running the water... the pain went away. I felt like a total idiot, heh. It was definitely not my proudest hour. :p
I'm putting my Christmas tree up this weekend, though I have mixed feelings about it all. Christmas and the holidays themselves are generally not a good time for me, simply because of the fact that I have very little in the way of friends and family to celebrate with, and there's so much pressure on everyone to make things "perfect", even though life itself isn't perfect - but you can't tell the media and society that. They conveniently forget about the times that the cat climbs up the tree and sends it crashing to the floor, breaking ornaments in the process... or one's "Uncle Dave" getting drunk and puking all over the floor, or some things that are even worse, perhaps.
The holidays are full of nostalgia, and perhaps that is what makes me depressed around this time of the year. I go to great lengths to avoid thinking about my past - and when I'm reminded of it, the illness comes back with a vengeance. I sometimes wish that I could go to sleep the day after Thanksgiving, and wake up the day after New Year's. I would gently suggest to people that if they know someone with depression, or someone who's all alone, during this time of the year, that they check up on them frequently and often, and try to make allowances to include them in their celebrations - because it's very hard to be all alone... or feel like you are... around this time of the year.
Anyway, enough rambling. I'm going to just try and take it easy this weekend, see if I can't get rid of this shit once and for all.
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