This is probably going to be a pretty insensitive post here, so be warned. If you're offended at the end of it - well, too fuckin' bad, heh. :p Here goes.
I have an acquaintance on Eff-Bee (I don't consider this person a "friend", because I've never met them in person and only know them from a forum we'd shared once long ago) that consistently and constantly complains about - well, everything. Now, granted, they've had it hard recently. Their spouse cheated on them and their marriage ended up breaking up because of it. That same spouse that cheated on them is now due alimony for the rest of their life - alimony that equals thousands of dollars a month. In turn, this person got laid off a couple of years ago from a really prominent job, and is now down to their last unemployment check. They also have a pretty bad problem with alcohol and drinking too much. Sounds awful, yeah? It is, I'll agree.
But.... (isn't there always a but in there?)....
This same person has had jobs in the last couple of years - not as prominent, and it involved a commute that was hellish to the extreme, almost a 2 hour commute each way - but still, a job. A way to eat. A way to put a roof over their head. This same person has been advised to leave the state in which they live and attempt to fight their ex-spouse for alimony reduction and/or elimination. This same person has friends that have, time and time again, offered to let them live with them, help them out, get their life back on track. This same person has been told over and over again to quit drinking and smoking, to get themselves together.
Okay? So the stage is set; you now know what this person is like. Let me get to the meat of the story here.
This same person, the one to whom I refer above, consistently gets on Eff-Bee and posts negative shit. All the time. Things like "if you want something from me, too FUCKING bad, suck it up, blah blah". Or things like "I have given everything, now I'm leaving you all, goodbye", etc., etc. Constant manipulation and drama posturing. Not too long ago, I witnessed three friends of this person being blocked because they actually dared to tell them that they was being... what else.... a drama king/queen. People were actually fighting on this person's profile - fighting for Chrissake. This person self-describes themselves as "untreated bipolar" and actually takes pride in this self-diagnosis. Pride. This person is unemployed, has been for at least a year, but still has money to drink and smoke countless packs of cigarettes a day and travel to far-away states to indulge in a hobby - yet complains that they can't find a job. This person complains constantly about helping their greedy, selfish ex-spouse and their greedy, selfish manipulative children and their greedy, selfish father - yet they consistently send money and act as support and go "family is everything, blah blah". This person posts links to "meaningful songs" eight times a day - literally, I have seen this person post the same video 8 times in one day - and is practically screaming "NOTICE ME".
Well, I have noticed you. But you're not going to like what I have to say to you.
1. Stop threatening shit and just DO it. You're going to disappear, leave, start a new life? You're going to quit supporting your greedy family? Fucking DO it and quit threatening it. Otherwise, honey, you are all talk and no action. It gets old after a while. Ever hear of the story of "the boy who cried wolf"? That's you all over. After a while, no one is going to believe what you say or even notice it for more than anything it is right now - which is posturing. You are so contradictory - one minute you threaten everyone who "hurts your family" and the next you're like, "they're all greedy, selfish assholes, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done". Which is it?
2. Just because people say things to you that you don't like, it doesn't mean they're not right. Those three friends of yours were right - when you do contradictory things, a real friend is going to call you on your shit. A real friend will tell you when you're wrong, because that's what they do - it means they care about your dumb ass enough to let you know, "Hey, dude, I think you need to maybe consider what you're doing." Ever think of that?
3. The reason you don't have a job isn't because you're over 50 years old. The reason you don't have a job right now isn't because you're overqualified. It's because you don't want to give up your hobby. It's because you don't want to leave the place you're living now in order to get a job or start a life elsewhere. It's because you don't want to realize that sometimes you have to give up the things you want in life in order to survive. Life is about survival - something you claim to know very well, but I don't really think you do. That job you had where you had to commute 4 hours a day - yeah, it sucked that you had to do that, but you know what? If that's what it takes to eat, to have a roof over your head, then that's what you do. It's not for a 50 inch TV or a fancy car that you keep crying everyone wants - it's so you can eat, have clothes on your back, and a place to lay your head. That's what you claim you want - so get out there and do it, and don't complain if you have to do things you don't want to do. That's called doing what you have to in order to survive. If that means working at fucking McDonald's, then that's what you do.
4. Life is what YOU make of it. If your life has been a catastrophic mess for the last X amount of years, maybe you need to sit the fuck down and think about why that is. Nothing is ordained, okay? You need to maybe examine your own self and see what you might be able to do to turn that around. No one, no one, NO ONE in this life "deserves" anything and no one is going to fucking help you - the help lies in your own hands. There is no "knight in shining armor". There is no one that's going to ride into your life on a bright white stallion, scoop you up, and "take you away", okay? You're on your fucking own out here. The world is cruel, and life isn't "fair". Get used to it. Look at the things that you do, and say, and think, and you might find that a lot of your misery is caused by things you do... and say.... and think.
5. As someone with long-term depression, I find it reprehensible that you believe yourself to have depression of any kind and refuse to get treatment. As a matter of fact, I find your pride in "being unmedicated" absolutely abhorrent. You do not realize what your actions do to people around you. You do not realize that the things you say and do can cause incredible hurt to others. I've seen it myself with the way you treat people, even your own children (who love you despite the shit you AND your ex-spouse have done to them). You talk a big game about what a "real friend" does, but you know what? A real friend doesn't tell the people who care about them to "fuck off", "suck it up", because they happen to think differently than you do. I saw you go off on someone who had talked about buying their child a Christmas gift. How DARE you presume to think for others? Are you omniscient now? Is your way the only right way to think?
I only keep you on my "friends list" because I'm waiting for the next drama-filled post of yours. I'm waiting to see you implode, because you will if you don't fucking do something about your life. Stop treating people like shit. Get up off of your ass and do SOMETHING - anything. Get a job, move away from that hellhole you call a state, start making money off of your hobby, do SOMETHING. You've got plenty of friends left that will be more than willing to help you - that is, if you can keep from alienating them any further. Stop crying about how your life sucks - because let me tell you something, pal - there are plenty, plenty, PLENTY of people in the world whose life sucks more than yours ever will.
Maybe try a little GRATITUDE for what you do have. It works wonders.
End of rant.
