Up off of my ass.

I went down to Merritt Athletic (the downtown location) and finally signed up for a health club membership. It's not much different than when I worked out at Gold's when I lived in Albemarle Square, but DAC (Downtown Athletic Center, which is Merritt's old name) is bigger, has more features, and of course is twice the money, ugh. Still, I need to do this. I'm tired of being unhealthy both in body and mind, and if I can't do much about the mind, I can at least do something about the body. So.. I've committed myself - again. Here's hoping that I can make something out of it.

I must be serious about it, because I ended up going to Dick's and buying 200 dollars worth of workout clothes, shoes and gear. I don't spend money unless I'm serious about something.

They've recommended weight training for me to start with, and there's a 10am Saturday class that would be perfect for me, it's called "Bodypump". We'll see how it goes - I'm really sort of nervous about any group situation, with obvious reasons. Still, this wasn't a place where it seemed that a lot of 'body beautiful' is coming in, though you'll get that in any workout facility. We'll see. At least I'm out there and trying to do something about it.

They have racquetball courts there, too. I remember playing stoopball when I was a kid, racquetball seems no different. And I like the variety of options they have. It's open 24 hours a day, which is really important for me because my work schedule is so fucked. Plus if I have an aggravating day and I want to go work out at 4 in the morning, I can do it.

I have had an aggravating time of it this weekend. I've had attacks on both Friday AND Saturday nights, and I'm just bloody exhausted. I'm still going to work out in a few minutes, though, maybe I can get some of this anger out of me. I hope so. As usual it's about old issues that consistently flare up on a regular basis, and I'll be honest - I'm getting fucking sick of it. At this point in my life I don't need any stress.

Anyway. Here's hoping that this week will be at least an okay one. I go on the cruise not this Thursday, but the next. And I'll be away from stress and stupidity and everyone for ten days. I need the relaxation - even if it is with my mother.

Write more later if I feel the need.