This is sort of a test post...

Apparently Blogger now has the ability to do posting via Email, which would be incredibly helpful for me if I want to write a post from work.  I just don't like the fact that Blogger has that big splash screen practically screaming, "HEY!  I HAVE A BLOG!  COME LOOK, COME LOOK!", especially when I don't want these people here to know about it - it's none of their business.

 

We're getting ready to do the "monthly meeting" - which translates to "let's denigrate, deride, and humiliate everyone we possibly can, especially those people on the night shift", of which I happen to be one of.  I already know I'm going to get singled out for something - it happens all the fucking time - and I'm not at all in a good mood.  I was when I woke up.  Silly me for thinking it would last.

 

There are days where I just think to myself that being unemployed would have been better than this.  I hate being singled out for anything, be it positive or negative.  For fuck's sake, if I did something wrong, address me directly - don't put me down in front of a bunch of people.  You want to see me have an attack in front of you?  Put me down in front of a group, especially when the group is mainly consisting of people I don't know.  That's a surefire way to get me upset and sick.

 

Christ, I've already got tears in my eyes and the meeting's not even for 20 minutes yet.

 

I know, I know.  "Be grateful you have a job".  At this point my response would be, "Be grateful you have teeth because if I hear that shit one more time, you're going to lose them."  It seems that the economic times don't permit people to complain about their jobs - well, as one of the lyrics from a Beastie Boys song goes, "and if you don't like it, then hey - fuck you".  I'll complain if I damn well feel like it, and it doesn't mean I'm not grateful to be employed.

 

It occurrs to me that "monthly meetings" at companies are nothing more than structured bitch sessions to tell employees everything they've done wrong over the past 30 days.  In some cases like mine, other employees that apparently have more 'clout' than others get to join in on the bitchfest, too.  I've given up going to my supervisor - he's too soft to deal with anything.  I complain, he's like "I'll take care of it", things are better for maybe a week, and then it goes back to the same stupid shit.  The supervisor said today that the meeting would be on Monday because today it was too busy to deal with it - a certain employee here was like "no, that's not the way it's going to be, I want it today" (this is the same one that keeps singling me out, which means she's got it IN for me today, I can feel it coming).... and he just... capitulated.  Just like that. 

 

Is it any wonder that I want out of here?

 

I'm going to try and stay strong but I can already tell you that my day is fucking ruined.  Even before the cause of the ruination happens.  And if you're thinking that I'm jumping the gun here and assuming - well, maybe I am, but I've been right a fuck of a lot more often than I've been wrong.  When one gets that sinking feeling in the pit of their stomach that something bad's going to happen, it's usually a good sign that something will.  And I've got it right now.

 

God, help me get through the rest of this day without losing my sanity - and my job.  Please.