Wow... zero posts for April???

I think this is the first time that I have ever - EVER! - missed an entire month of writing in this blog.

So would I consider this a good thing?  Perhaps.  I've been trying to actually make a post in here for a couple of weeks now, but something has always prevented me from doing it, one way or the other, be it work or having to do a school assignment... or, perhaps just sheer laziness.  I might simply have nothing to say.  And I find that more and more, it's the latter.  There's... really nothing to report.

In a couple of weeks, I'll be celebrating a full year with Greg.  It's been one hell of a whirlwind, I can say that much, and it's been in a good way.  I'm up for a new job soon where I'll actually get the hell out of the drug lab - finally! - and move on to better opportunities.  I'm less than a year from finishing school and getting the B.S. degree - still pondering the M.S., but I'll need to take some time to think about that.

As you can see, I've been living life.

I had a really hard time making a Facebook status this morning, because there's so much to tell.. and yet, there's really nothing that's unusual or out of place in my life now.  Things are calm.  I'm calm.  I'm happy.  No crying fits, no stretches of depression, no suicidal ideations.  Everything is "normal".  Whatever normal is.

In 3 weeks, I go back to Ocean City.  "Okay," you think, "so what?"  For me, it's not just a question of so what... but a reclaiming of a place that I loved and once lost to depression.

The last time that I visited Ocean City was at Christmastime in 2009.  I made a post - several series of posts, actually - about being alone at Christmas, and about how I would go down to the beach that day and cry.  And that's what I did... only I also thought seriously about plunging myself into the surf and never coming out.  Because, you see, I can't swim - not very well, anyway - and I thought that it would be the answer to all of my woes, back then.

For some reason, it never happened that way.  And in retrospect, now, I'm glad that I didn't.  I would have missed out on so much.

But in any case.... I go back there in 3 weeks, with Greg, and I'm reclaiming that place.  I'm going to sit on the same stretch of beach, and watch the surf again, only this time I'm going to thank it for hearing me out, for being there when I had nothing else in my life, and for saving me when my only wish was to die.

Suicide is the furthest thing from my mind now.

Anyhow... that's all I really have to say at the moment.  I know, it's a boring update, but maybe boredom suits me.  :p