must be busy. And I have been, though I haven't been feeling
particularly well (physically). The usual colds, 24-hour bugs, that
kind of shit. Nothing major. Still, I'd like to see that pass as
quickly as possible.
Things are pretty much the same; it's getting "back to normal" after
what can only be termed a whirlwind holiday season. I had a
wonderful, enjoyable Christmas - the first in five years, easily, and
better than the last ten combined. I'm glad to see it all dissipate,
though, and to have life return to usual.
I've discovered that I definitely do better on a mental level when I'm
complaining about "being too busy". I've had three weekends now with
no schoolwork (the next term starts on the 17th), and ... it's
beginning to get old. I'm finding that as usual, I'm craving the
excitement of starting fresh with new subjects. Of course, by the
time March 11th rolls around, I'll probably proclaim myself
"thoroughly sick of the parenting theory and computer innards", but
that's normal for me, heh.
Not much else is going on, really. I've been re-examining usual,
tired subjects in my head, trying to see if I feel better about them,
etc. It's a slow process, but I do believe that I'm healing up
nicely. Most days I feel ... well, I don't, really. I can't even
call it apathy; more like a cursory dismissal. No more than say, a
blip on the radar. The most upset I get (particuarly about the D'bag
situation) is that of a brief, wistful moment of "what could have
been". But you know... it couldn't have been. Ever. Because it
takes two to tango on that front, and only one person was ever doing
the dance.
I realize that now. Now it's time to work on not being ashamed of it.
My mother is slowly beginning to decline, health-wise. I knew that it
was eventually going to happen, but I didn't expect such a dramatic
spike in "I've fallen, I've hurt myself, etc." incidents. There's
even been loose talk of her leaving her house, which I know is a
serious, serious sign that things are coming to a head. I'm really
hoping that it's not going to happen soon, because.... well, it's well
documented that my mother and I can't get along for more than 5
minutes. Still, I will not, will not, WILL NOT put her in a nursing
home. I just won't. My grandmother was in one of those places only 3
months before she died, but her life was a living fucking hell until
that day. I won't do that to my mother. No matter how much she's
hurt me.
We will see. But here recently, it's been worrisome.
Everything else is as usual. I'm still blissfully happy with Greg;
who'd have thought it after almost 8 months? (Good Gawd... has it
been that long??!!??) The job still sucks, heh, but you can't have
everything.
This is really just a quick update, since it's Tuesday and all... and
we know how Tuesdays are, right, kiddies?
More later, probably over the weekend.
(Pee-Ess: I've been busy with my new cooking blog. If you feel so
inclined, head over to 52ayear.org and have a look. /shameless plug).
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