She's moved on.

In the past, the first half of October would have been the time I would have, at the very least, dissolved into a depressive funk - and at the most, had an episode of the screaming meemies.

You see, the first half of October, for me, is memory-laden, and not with good things.

October 2: This year, it's the fifth anniversary of my divorce.
October 10: My now ex-husband is 43 years old.
October 13: This year, it would have been eleven years since the day I was married.

No, none of these dates mean good things for me, usually. And yet... this year I think nothing of them. I reflect back on eleven years ago... when I was preparing to say that little phrase that would "lock" me to another human being... and I honestly remember that I didn't feel much of anything. Should that be the way a prospective bride feels?

Today, I feel much like that prospective bride - nothing ripples the calm surface. For me, this is a positive step. For me, it shows that I've taken huge steps toward healing, if not conquered this entirely.

Today is my ex-husband's birthday. I only feel the concern that maybe a stranger would now - "oh, yeah? well, happy birthday" as I go on my way. I do hope that his life is happier today than it was 11 years ago. I hope that he is settled, maybe with a new wife, some children - he always wanted that. I feel no ill will toward him - indeed, I feel nothing at all but a slight memory, a time that I've pretty much put out of my head. Not banished.... not that. Just put away, for good.

Onward. :)