Quick, though not satisfying, update.

I am still locked in a struggle with my more negative emotions as of late. I think that it's because I've been partially re-visiting painful memories in my head, and partially because a huge amount of people have let me down this week.

I haven't announced it or made a big fuss about it, but my birthday passed in the last two weeks. Although I'm well aware that I haven't said much about it (and those of you who know me well also know that I tend not to talk about it), there were a select few that DID know when it was and for their own reasons, failed to acknowledge the day, which hurt a hell of a lot more than I had expected.

I have had some very unpleasant conversations in the past couple of days, with more to come, unfortunately.

One good thing is that I'm absolutely not holding back my displeasure or anger at said people involved. I'm outright letting them know just how they've made me feel; devalued, not even worth a simple phone call or a text message. I've made that crystal clear to quite a few people in the past 48 hours. This isn't worth holding in anger or letting it fester - oh, HELL no. Those days are over.

If people piss me off, they're going to know about it. Quickly, immediately, and with zero hesitation.

I'm sorting out shit in my own brain right now, and not really paying attention to much more than that. I mean, I'm going to work, doing what I must. There's been some positive gain in that I've lost nearly 12 pounds since I began my personal "fitness quest", if you will, at the start of the year. It's beginning to take root in my stupid head that I need to take care of myself, because it's obvious no one else is fucking going to.

But I'm lost in my own "fog", if you will, at the moment. I just have too much going on as far as work and projects and personal development, blah blah blah. I don't have time for all of these negative things that are floating in my head, you know?

Still, they come. I wonder sometimes if it'll ever stop and I'll have peace.

Anyway. I haven't had a chance to write for a while, so I wanted to stop in. Hopefully it'll calm down some this weekend so I can catch up.

Until then.