I have decided, after much thought and some circumstances that have come to pass during the last few days, that it IS time to buy that house. I could get another apartment, but in truth I feel that it's throwing good money after bad at this point. And it's a buyer's market. The prices for housing are low and after much consideration, I think I'm both mature enough and emotionally ready to own. So... here I am, getting ready to look at houses this afternoon with a RE agent.
I won't lie. I'm scared. I've been suffering with a stomachache ever since I made the final decision to do this. But it's time. I need a sense of permanency, and I'll never get it by renting an apartment. I'll be 38 years old in less than two weeks, and quite honestly, I'm tired. I'm tired of moving from place to place to place. I'm tired of not having security. I'm tired of not being able to lay my head down at night and know, know, KNOW that I'll never leave where I am again - unless I want to. I'm tired of filling out change-of-address cards for everything and everyone. I'm just... tired. And too old to keep moving on. Does that make sense at all?
Maybe in 20 years I'll want to move on somewhere else, but I can decide that... in 20 years. In the meantime, I want security. I don't think I can ever rest and fully begin to heal myself unless I DO have security. A house will help to provide that for me. And after all I've been through in my life, all of the hurt and pain and hard times, I surely do need a break, you know?
I was approved for 140k. It's not a huge amount, it won't get me a perfect house in the suburbs, it won't be "ideal". For the average person. But for me, I can live with that, I think.
I've found a couple of houses that I think I like, mainly in either Seton Hill or in Canton. They're relatively safe areas. I'm hoping for Seton Hill, as it's closer to being able to get back and forth to work, but we'll see how that runs. I go look at two houses tonight, both of them in SH. I intend to take my time on this and not rush things, no matter how attractive that 8000 dollar tax credit looks. If I don't close before the deadline, I don't close. It doesn't matter to me. I just want the right house at the right price.
God, I am so fucking scared. But it's time.
I will keep you all posted, of course.
2 comments:
Ryan was approved for 140K, but we bought something half of that, and I'm glad we did. I didn't want every dime we made going into a house payment, so just be careful, and I hope things go well!! Good Luck!!
The only problem with the money is that, in Baltimore, 140k will not buy very much that isn't in need of a massive rehab. I don't have the time or really the extra money to throw toward rehabbing a place, though one of these days I think I'd love to try.
If I drove, that would be a different story, but alas, I'm still working on that.
I did find a lovely place in Seton Hill, it's one of the two that I originally went to look at, and I've decided to go ahead and offer for it, so I should know something shortly. If you want to see what it looks like, I'll send you a link in FB. It's gorgeous. Seriously.
I'm slowly getting excited about this. But no lie, it's an emotional roller coaster.
How did you handle it when you did a buy?
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