More rambling from a confused head.

So today's Saturday the 12th - only a week left before I do what is arguably one of the craziest things I've done in my life, which is travel ten thousand miles away from one of the only places I've ever known.

Am I ready for it? In a lot of ways, yes - I'm packed, I have everything I'm going to take at this point, for the most part, and I have a good idea of what I'm going to do as far as things to see, things I want to do, etc. But I'm not ready for it in other respects - the long plane trip (I have four flights to take before I get there, which is probably one of the worst travel itineraries I could have managed - but I was trying to save money), the fear of the long plane trip, the fear of getting to Customs in Australia and getting shit taken away from me for whatever reason, etc. Or worse, not being let into the country at all. (Though I can't imagine for what reason I'd be denied, but stranger shit has happened, heh.) I've already been informed that I can't bring food in - and that means anything, heh, it'll get confiscated - God only knows what I'm going to do about my personal care stuff. I'll probably have to leave it all home. And my medicines - Jesus. If they took my medicines, you may as well just send me on home with them, because as we all know, I don't function well without my crazy pills, teehee.

There's just a hell of a lot of anticipation built up into this, as much as I don't want to admit that there is, and I'm worried. Actually, petrified, if truth be told. But you know what? It's a week away. It's too late to call it off. So now I ride with it. It's all done.

The gubmint didn't call me for my test. Figures. I'm really, really tired of feeling like I have to put my life on hold. So as far as I'm concerned, they've got a week to get me down to D.C. to take it, or they'll just have to cool their heels til after the 6th. Either way I'm set - I either go to school (I haven't cancelled it yet) or I take this job. It's up to them at this point. I'm not living my life on pins and needles anymore.

So far, all good on the Buspirone. I've been hearing that I'm practically a different person on this shit. Well, good. Maybe this is what I needed.

I'm in a weird mood today - like... resignation. I can't stop whatever's going to come in the next month, so I may as well just not fight it. Whatever happens... happens. Does that make sense?

I'm looking into learning how to sew. I need some more hobbies.

Anyway. Just a quick update. T-minus 7 days and counting down. (shiver)