The clock is ticking.... so is my mind.

I have had a rough couple of weeks over here, unfortunately.  I'm dealing with several things at once right now, including the imminent birthday celebration where I finally leave my rough, turbulent thirties behind and coast straight into 40, sigh.  My family has been giving me a lot of shit as of late - my brother and his wife have decided to separate and will probably divorce (though there's a lot of other shit behind that - not too sure I want to share a lot of details right now due to certain people viewing this).  And because of that, my mother's been, to be blunt, a bitch.  It's starting to wear me down.  I still have a lot on my plate - work, school, blah-blah, and I'm quickly reaching the end of my rope.

I went to therapy yesterday and the doctor told me that if I don't start coping a little better, the sessions are going to increase.  I don't like the sound of that.  I hope, pray, that this is just an aberration.

Despite all of the crap going on, I managed top grades in both parenting and in computer forensics.  We're on bioethics and aging now, lucky me.  I don't really know how they're going to go - bioethics looks hard as fuck - but we'll find out, I guess.

Sigh.  Someone tell me that it'll get better, please.  I hate to think that this is it - that this is my life.  Work, school, dealing with the crap that is my family.  At least Greg and I are still strong and a positive force.  That's something, anyway.

Gah, I don't know, I just feel so freaking TIRED.  No energy whatsoever.  I've finally recovered from that cold, but its effects linger.  I just want to crawl into bed and sleep, sleep, sleep.  I know I'm almost forty, but really, I'm not DEAD.  Why do I feel like this?

Oh, well, I have a rare day off today and I'm going to enjoy it.  If that means laying in bed and sleeping all day and watching mindless television, that's what it'll be.  Though I'm thinking that a good, brisk walk might help as well.  Actually, that sounds a lot better.  Television sucks anyhow.

I'll be all right.  I just need a little bit of balance - I need to slow down and not let shit get to me.  I haven't had a vacation in a year and a half, so maybe I'll take some time off soon to re-energize, fix up this house (still a work in progress, but I think it always will be, sigh), work things out a bit.  I'm already cheered up just thinking about it.  And Greg and I are going to Ocean City for Memorial Day weekend, to celebrate 1 year of togetherness.

One year.  Dear God, has it been that long?  I'm speechless, but in a good way.  :)

Now I end this post happy.  Whoo!  Lawl.

Yeah.  I think I'll be all right.  :)