What more is there to report but the same shit?

I have been ignoring almost everyone in the last few weeks, and that's because I don't want to go through the endless social politeness bullshit that's required every time one has a conversation. I am sick of lying to people when I say I'm "fine". I could care less whether they have a good day or not - what does their good day do for me? Uh, I do believe nothing?

I have been yet again blocked from going back to therapy. My shit health insurance won't let me go back to Sheppard Pratt, nor will they allow me to go to any of the therapists I DID find. I have to go through some kind of in-house network, which means hours on the phone, and I don't have the time nor the energy to jump through their hoops to get well - not that anything I've done has helped in the first place. So I'm back to square fucking one again. Sick, depressed, and no one who gives a fuck.

I don't even WANT to deal with anyone anymore. I'm sick of being let down. My house will be just fine for me to hide away in, I'm happy enough there. Just hide and never come the fuck out except to go to work. I am just done with trying to get help or talk to anyone or deal with anything, it's not worth the fucking aggravation.