I am okay today.

I know that a lot of people may not actually believe that, especially after the week I seem to have had -but it's true. I am actually feeling all right. Mainly because I seem to have come to some sort of conclusion inside my own mind, though what it is I couldn't say.

I think that, by giving up completely on a social life and no longer expecting it to come from outside sources, I am now looking within. And maybe I should do just that. The truth is that I am tired. I am weary of seeking approval through external validation, if that makes sense. I am weary of trying to find acceptance in a world that never really has accepted me or my peculiarities. So...in a way, I'm actually more at peace now with the fact that I'm on my own and can really depend on no one at all but myself. I'm scared of that, but at the same time, liberated. Does that make sense?

Several people have let me down in the last week. But the truth is that I expect no differently - so maybe it's time to stop beating myself up over it.

I will still have difficult moments, as we all do, but I'm slowly beginning to learn to live with them. I think.

But no worries. I am truly all right with myself today. I am at peace, and that is so rare a feeling for me. I want more of it.

I am going to be okay.

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