Everyone is wondering why I'm not excited about the house. I was asked today what kind of decorating scheme I wanted done for the new place and I just looked at them like they were crazy. Why would I even think of doing such a thing? My mind is not there. I can't get into it. Just like I can't seem to get into anything else that other people are so crazy about - friends, family, children. I don't see the appeal. It's a place to live - that's it. I'm at work 12+ hours a day, it's not like I'm going to have time to enjoy any of it. It's a place to lay my head and rest, that's all. I don't see the point of decorating and fixing it all up because I just have to tear it all down when I remodel it, anyway. Why go through the bother of it all?
So far, this purchase seems like a huge money pit that I keep throwing cash into, and nothing is coming of it but stress and heartache and more problems. I'm utterly sick of it all. Either sell me the fucking house, or don't. At this point I don't give a rat's fucking ass. Christ knows I've laid my head down in worse.
I've not felt well in the last couple of days, as if one couldn't tell. My apathy is at an all-time high. My disgust with the workplace is bordering on overload. And I'm still sick with this fucking respiratory bullshit, it's not going away.
I'm tired. Just...tired of it all.
1 comment:
buying a house is definitely on the top of the "stressometer". i know when we got this one, it was preapproval, and then up until the damn closing date, i was faxing this proof, and that proof left and right, and it's like... didn't i JUST give you all this crap?
hopefully things will start to slow down, closing date over, and maybe then you'll get into deciding if you want to personalize your abode! *hugs*
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