The death of Generation X.

I wasn't going to talk about Michael Jackson's death, because it seems that everyone in the world is mentioning it, and I can't really see where I can add anything to what's already been said, whether it's positive or negative. I don't feel any overwhelming sadness over it, and in fact I do believe that there are much more important things going on in the world right now.

But I find that over the past few days, I find myself actually a bit teary-eyed. It's not even over the man himself, or the fact that "we've lost a musical genius" or anything like that (though I can't lie, he did have undeniable talent - all of his personal antics aside). No, it's not because he's dead. It's not because he won't make more music.

I find myself sad because I feel old. Isn't that dumb?

Michael Jackson used to be the hottest thing since sliced bread. If you were alive in 1982, you'd have known that for a fact. The man literally had the world by the balls. I remember well when 'Thriller' first came out, and the massive hit singles, it seemed that nearly every song on that album was a number-one hit. He could have retired after that one album and never had to work again. How many people can say that at 23?

It's watching these old videos that are cropping up on the music stations (and you can't avoid it today, every MTV and VH-1 clone has them on, even the gospel station's gotten into the act) that are making me feel sad. It also seems that the world was a simpler place then, compared to today - though I know damned well that's not true, the 80s were a time of massive upheaval that I would never willingly go through again. I got a glimpse of the old Michael, the one that was black, the one that knew how to rock with you, the one that shook his body down to the ground. Simpler times, like I said. Not the one that admitted to sleeping with children in his bed, or the one that had a moonwalking monkey, etc.

I look at these videos of his and I can't really connect the oddball things that he did with them. If you've seen the video for 'In The Closet' you'll know what I mean - this girl he was dancing with was incredibly fucking hot. And NOT under eighteen, I assure you. The lyrics to 'Dirty Diana' are insanely sexual. I just cannot picture this man doing the things that he was reported to have done. And yet... it's all on tape. I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever know.

I'm sad because I'm 37 years old, heh. Without a doubt, I know that my childhood is gone. Michael Jackson was only 50, that's a 13 year age difference. It almost feels as if I'm staring death in the face. Isn't that stupid? And yet... it's a stark, black-or-white fact, har har.

I guess it's the equivalent of pulling up the proverbial socks. It's time to grow up, if I haven't already, and be an adult. I can't pretend that I'm 15 or 20 or even 25 anymore. I'm middle-aged. I'm an adult. God, it's depressing, heh.

That's why when I see "Say, Say, Say" on the video channel (which is a song I've always really liked), I have tears in my eyes. If that makes me a wuss, so be it, I'm a wuss. :p

So I won't go "arr-eye-pee" all over the place, though I hope the man is less tortured in his next life (if you believe in reincarnation, that is). But I will provide a video to that favorite song of mine.

Cheers.