:'(

I knew it. I knew that I'd eventually crash from my earlier good mood, and it's happened. I can't sleep, I'm sick, my mind is racing and I just feel like I've been run over by a truck. I hate this. Depression sucks so bad, and the worst part of it is that it's not something anyone can see. You can see people in wheelchairs, with broken limbs, with advanced AIDS, with cerebral palsy, etc. You cannot see depression - it's insidious, it's silent, it hurts so bad.

I know I can't go to work today. There's no way I'm going to make it, not with the way I feel... and yet I feel so fucking guilty. I don't know why. I feel guilt about everything, though, so what's one more thing.

Jesus. I can't go on like this. I need therapy, new drugs, a bullet through my head. Something. But I can't continue on this way... because it's unbearable. It's bad, so bad....

..all I want to do is cry until I scream... and then scream until I'm voiceless.

I fucking hate this.